Unauthorized chef revelations (including Flaming Hot Cheetos and Fred Durst): the Todd Fisher edition.

The only reality TV worth watching is the food shows—Top Chef, Chopped, Hell's Kitchen, The Taste.

And, at their heart, those are game shows.

I borrowed from that formula while interviewing a handful of local chefs with a speed round of taste-intuition questions.

I timed how long it took us to burn through the questions and asked them to submit a selfie to pair with it. Fisher's appears above.

Five edited installments appeared in the Food & Wine guide published late last month, including this uncut Q&A with Todd Fisher, longtime local celebrity chef, outsize personality and creative culinary soul.

He currently commands the kitchen at Tarpy’s Roadhouse (647-1444) at 2999 Monterey Salinas Highway in  Monterey.

He completed it in 11 minutes, 11 seconds.

What do you eat for breakfast?

Eggs and toast. I cut up the toast as croutons with olive oil and dump scrambled eggs on top; something like a mix for egg frittata with sriracha.

What do you eat before you die?

Oh man; because I’m allergic to shellfish I’d gorge on jumbo prawns, crab and lobster until my head popped.

Most misunderstood vegetable?

Romanesco.

Most underappreciated spice?

Ooh. Sumac. The non-poisonous kind.

Greatest vinegar dream?

Spanish aged sherry wine vinegar.

Favorite way to eat an egg?

Olive oil fried.

Favorite food movie?

I have five kids so it’s Ratatouille.

What’s your weirdest hobby?

Every once in a while i think i can build something, most of the time I try to make wooden contraptions, like a mailbox up straight.

Favorite dish to prepare for home date night? 

Soft polenta, truffle salt, teleme [cheese] and buttery rich cougar juice Chardonnay.

For guests?

Casual gumbo.

Just you?

Scary recreations of leftovers with sriracha.

Strangest food fetish?

Probably a pickled hot dog like you get from gas stations in the south. Get a tong and a wax paper bag like they do in Mississippi or Tennessee.

Favorite passive snack to eat while watching TV/movie/HBO?

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos with Sriracha.

Guiltiest food pleasure or otherwise?

Whole roasted lobes of foie gras.

Spirit animal?

Water buffalo. 

Best inspiration?

My family.

Five people to share dinner with, dead or alive?

Bill Murray, my wife, Jesus, Mario Batali, Julia Child.

Quick picnic packing plan?

Baguette, brie, apple, hard apple.

Your closest celebrity look alike?

Fred Durst.

Favorite cookbook? 

Thomas Keller’s  Under Pressure, his sous vide book.

Regular book?

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.

Non-vegan ingredient?

Bacon.