None

DIRECT HEADING...It’s the day before I leave with my Sweet Thing to go away on a four-day group therapy thing we do a few times a year. It’s a retreat-type setting where none of the usual outside influences impinge upon one’s efforts at uncovering the missteps of early life and learning to heal the resultant damages. It is amazing how the things we didn’t receive in our earliest life influence all our subsequent decision making – and if we don’t try to address the reasons and work on our awareness, we just go on repeating the mistakes, over and over and over.

One thing I realize from the work I’ve been doing on myself is that I’m pretty well screwed up (shoot Martha, I’ve been telling you that for years). It helps to peel back my life’s layers and recall, re-experience and ultimately relearn some of its lessons. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be less screwed up than today… or at least I’ll be able to better work with it. Thankfully, my screwed-upedness is a lot less dangerous to society than many others’ versions.

I guess in this society we’re always measuring ourselves against everyone else – and, of course, against all the celebrities. Maybe reality shows have taken over because we can now measure ourselves against people who appear more wacky than ourselves, not folks who are other-worldly beautiful or talented, just a bunch of schmoes like you and me. Why else would Jerry Springer have been so popular, right?

SANCTIFIED VINES...You know who is successful? My man Thomas Perez, that’s who. That wine worldly wonderkind, who among other things, oversees the wine programs at Bouchée, Cantinetta Luca and L’Auberge Carmel, makes wine, is married (and expecting a little barrique), travels around doing research, works as the sommelier at L’Auberge, and is at Domaine de la Romanee-Conti in Burgundy – arguably the world’s greatest label – working there during harvest. He sent me the coolest picture message on my phone the other day. It was just a humble shot of the cornerstone etched with two words, Romanee Conti. I sent it along to my buddy in SF, Web Bond, who is as geeky a wine geek as there is. He sent back one word: sacred. Go Thomas, go.

MAVEN UP...Somebody else who is absolutely driving me crazy with the feel good goodness of her story is PR maven turned world celebrity super model, mother, grandmother, author, public speaker-plus, Valerie Ramsey. She’s lighting the world on fire with her late season rush to success. She was just on the Today Show again, this time with Nora Ephron and Christine Ebersole, two other seriously successful and powerful women.

I get so excited because Valerie is someone who embodies one of the most important lines of dialogue in movie history, said by Andy Dufresne to Red in the movie Shawshank Redemption: “Get busy living or get busy dying.” That pinpoints the reality most people are experiencing in their lives. Valerie Ramsey continues to show us that anything is possible at any time. Check her out at valerieramsey.com. Don’t let the stylishness of the layouts keep you from reading her story and seeing how really wonderful a person she is. Like Red says in the end: “That’s damn right.”

FRUITFUL EXPERIENCES...Sunday, Sept. 16, is TomatoFest time at Quail Lodge. Over 500 varieties of heirloom tomatoes take center stage while mere humans reverently craft concoctions containing those beautifully-formed orbs of magical tomato goodness and others entertain us and ply us with beverages. Don’t know if there are any tickets still available – if not, sorry – but check out the website anyway, tomatofest.com.

The Monterey County Young Professionals Group and sponsor Quail Lodge invite you to a golf-themed mixer at Edgar’s at Quail Lodge. Mingle in the bar, play the six-hole putting challenge and receive complementary instruction and swing analysis by Todd Southard, director of instruction at Quail Lodge on Thursday, Sept. 20, at 6pm; RSVP to Sarah Andrus by Monday, Sept. 17, at mcypg@armanasco.com.

THAIED UP...Baan Thai is one of my favorite restaurants on the Monterey Peninsula. I eat out a lot, have done so for at least 25 years, and not just around here. I look for many things at different times when I’m interested in going out – sometimes it has little to do with the food, sometimes everything. Sometimes I just want to hang out with the people who own or work at the place, sometimes I want to be anonymous. One thing that I always love to have is a go-to restaurant when I want good, healthy food that is lovingly prepared in a clean, happy environment and doesn’t rip out the innards of my wallet. That’s what Baan Thai is and has been for a long time. They’re over in Seaside, next to Gold’s Gym in University Shopping Plaza. Baan Thai, the real deal for a real meal.

TOGA, TOGA...We had a pretty fun little excursion in Saratoga last weekend. We were on our way home from Santa Clara (an Ikea excursion), over-hungry, tired and a bit cranky. We went to the Basin, a corner spot with a really nice bar and pretty good Spanish influenced food. Regina Dingillo, an über-friendly and gracious bartender, served us delicious treats, refreshing drinks and sprited conversation. Then we hit the newly remodeled Plumed Horse down the street. Very beautiful, very modern, very hip, plus the former chef of Aqua is at the helm. Saratoga is a nice little day trip.

Just got a great line from John Ratto, GM of Il Fornaio. I was telling him about my four days of group therapy, then about a two-day wine seminar thing I have to be at in Sonoma. His line: “So you’re going from being immersed in the spiritual to being immersed in the spirits.” Now that’s what I’m talking about.