A Golden Globe-winning comedian with a controversial history makes a stop in Monterey.

I was deeply disappointed with Agata Popeta's commentary regarding comedian Aziz Ansari. The media has given our collective fervor to destroy the reputation of anyone who has merely been accused of wrongdoing access to the widest audience imaginable. But accusations are not evidence, something that the average person often forgets. Journalists, however, should know better. "Let's not kid ourselves about the controversy surrounding Ansari," Popeta writes. Yes, let's not. But what, exactly, is the controversy? An anonymous accuser (nothing wrong with protecting her identity) expressed her discomfort with his reported refusal to take "no" for an answer a couple of times on date, though ultimately not forcing the issue. His response? An apology. A seemingly dubious accusation that never turned into a court case, let alone a conviction, was acknowledged and apologized for. And yet, years later we're talking about a "controversy" that's only a controversy because of a well-intentioned movement designed to protect the women we love.

As an unapologetically progressive father of two daughters, I wish the MeToo movement hadn't diminished its credibility under the weight of its own excesses. But it did. It's not feminism to elevate every instance of inappropriate behavior to the status of a crime. A bad date isn't a felony, it's a reason to block someone's phone number. Equating every instance of unthinking personal conduct with the vile and illegal behavior of the Weinsteins, Cosbys, and Epsteins trivialized the very essence of the movement and ultimately became a disservice to millions of young men who now believe their masculinity is toxic. The unintended consequence of all this has turned into a crisis for our sons.

And according to Popeta, my opinion "may be different than hers depending on my gender," a dismissive statement akin to saying that her opinion is based on her age. My opinion has nothing to do with my gender, it has to do with the facts in this case. I do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, condone violence against women for any reason. But I respectfully suggest that responsible journalistic voices consider the damage done when perpetuating hearsay accusations that were never adjudicated in a court of law. Either find someone guilty of a crime, or leave them in peace.