John Fickas proclaims innocence as he's sentenced to 28 years-plus for drugging and raping students.

As he was being sentenced April 2 for drugging and raping girls and women he coached at North Salinas High School and who volunteered in exchange for community service hours on various political campaigns he helped run, John Fickas was given the opportunity to speak. 

Normally it's a time for a defendant who has pleaded guilty to express remorse for their acts. Instead, Fickas, who had tried and failed to withdraw his plea, went in the opposite direction.

He spoke via video relay from Monterey County Jail, having refused to come to court in person.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything that took place in regards to this case. I do wish to have it be known that I attempted to withdraw my plea," Fickas said. "I was denied that. I wanted to ultimately take this to trial to attempt to prove my innocence and I was denied that.

"But I do wish to apologize to everyone in regards to this matter, in regards to my case, (to) all the individuals," he said. 

Before Fickas spoke, though, so did some of his victims—either through letters they submitted that were read out loud, or by talking directly to the court. They told Monterey County Superior Court Judge Pamela Butler they had viewed Fickas as more than a coach, but also a friend and a mentor, and he took their trust in him and bent it into something dark and awful.

"For the longest time, I kept my secret," one victim's letter, read into the record by Deputy District Attorney Elaine McCleaf, stated. "I never wanted anyone to find out, for the purpose of not ruining his career or tearing his family apart. I always looked out for his best intentions…I looked up to him, I trusted him, I befriended him, not knowing what I was getting myself into. He manipulated me and now, a decade later, my secret is out."

The young woman stated she was filled with rage and shame, and thinks she should have spoken out 10 years ago to keep others from becoming victims. But she's determined to reclaim her power and move on with her life—and never think about him again, she said. 

"I remember he once said if I ever stepped foot in a church, the sky will open and lightening will strike and now I know why," she stated. 

A second victim, who spoke directly to Butler, said she didn't want to focus on what Fickas did to her—instead she wanted to focus on the details of her recovery. 

"Thankfully, I'm in a place now where I feel comfortable in my skin," she said, "but for many years it wasn't like this." 

Fickas portrayed himself as a mentor, friend and beloved coach, who stuck with her throughout difficult times in high school, and rifts in her family, and rekindled their friendship after she completed four years of military service in 2015. 

"How do you learn to trust yourself again, much less anyone else?" she said. "The consequences of his actions are something I will have to live with and work through the rest of my life. I always look over my shoulder when I walk anywhere. My head is on a swivel…I startle easily. My flight, fight or freeze response is always on and hyperactive." 

When she goes out with friends, she said, she struggles to explain why she has to see the bartender make her drink, rather than having it delivered to the table. 

"How do you explain all the little things you have to do to feel just slightly safer?" she said. "You can't. You don't. The person you once were will never be again…losing yourself from the actions of another human being is the worst." 

Fickas pleaded no contest on Jan. 22 during what was to be a routine pre-trial hearing. In exchange for the plea, Fickas agreed to a sentence of 28 years and eight months in prison. His defense attorney, Jennifer Davenport, was appointed by Gov. Gavin Newsom to the Superior Court the day before the original sentencing was to take place on March 26. 

Instead, on that day, Deputy Public Defender Mike Belter told Butler that Fickas wanted to withdraw his plea. Butler agreed to hear a Marsden motion, a hearing in which a defendant seeks to fire a court-appointed attorney. Marsden hearings are closed to the public and the prosecutor; after the hearing, Butler declined to allow Fickas to withdraw the plea.  

Fickas had pleaded no contest, which has the same effect as a guilty plea, to five counts of raping and sodomizing four girls or women. In a sixth count, he pleaded no contest to oral copulation on a teenage boy he coached at North Salinas High School; in that instance, Fickas rented a Kern Street motel room, drove the then-16-year-old boy to the motel and furnished him with a sex worker.