SQUIDFRY 04.01.21: For the Love of God

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD… As shelter-in-place restrictions lift, Squid finds Squidself even worse at social interactions than Squid was before. Does Squid really have to leave the lair? Maybe Francis Shyanguya similarly forgot what is expected in social situations, including the fact that, yes, we still have to mask up, carry pocket-sized hand sanitizers everywhere, not breathe on people and generally follow Covid-19 safety protocols.

According to court records, Shyanguya resumed attending services at Saint Francis Xavier Church in Seaside once in-person services came back. But he refused to comply with temperature checks at the entrance or wear a mask. Father Michael Volk asked parishioner Bob Ingersoll, who has 30 years of law enforcement experience, to approach Shyanguya and explain to him that he had to comply with Diocese of Monterey rules, not to mention state rules. Ingersoll did, and instead of cooperation he got this: “Respondent informed me that according to the canon laws of the Catholic Church, he was not required to have his temperature checked or wear a mask.”

Facing an increasingly belligerent parishioner, on March 26, the Diocese filed for a restraining order against Shyanguya. They received a cumpulsory but temporary order that day, with a hearing scheduled for April 22.

Squid studied up on the Bible and found zero mention of noncompliance with health rules as part of God’s plan. Mostly Squid just hopes Shyanguya finds some peace, and stays healthy.

BEACH TOWN, USA… While still following SIP rules, Squid finally emerged from the lair for some outdoor time – and to make up for lost Vitamin D during the past year – and ooze down to Marina State Beach. Squid wanted at least six feet of space from other cephalopods and humans, and Squid had read Traveler Marriott’s list, “7 Off-the-Beaten-Path Beach Towns in the U.S.” The city of Marina was third on the list, noted for attracting people who like diversity and small-town vibes, a place where people can find food from different corners of the world, from Mexican and German, to Korean and British.

The article also listed some of Marina’s gems – Marina Dunes Preserve, 170 acres of protected dunes; Fort Ord National Monument, with 86 miles of trails. At the beach, Squid was having a blast making sand castles and soaking in the rays, thinking: Marina and its beaches aren’t really off the beaten path. They’re right on the path for throngs of tourists coming from the San Francisco Bay area to Monterey and Pacific Grove. But even if it makes Squid’s non-qualified list of “7 Great Beach Town in the U.S.,” Squid remains grateful that Traveler Marriott considers it off the beaten path. It means fewer visitors, and more calm (and social distancing) for Squid.