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MAKE ME FAMOUS… Sharks get all the breaks. Sharks get caught accidentally by commercial fishermen and they’ve got a shot at becoming the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s next rock star of the Outer Bay exhibit. Squid gets caught and becomes calamari rings. It’s just not fair.

So yes, it does bring Squid joy to report that a recent Aquarium’s Top Shark wannabe didn’t make the cut. Yay! A young male great white, 4 feet 9 inches long, caught in Malibu on June 24 and turned over to Aquarium biologists, was released on Independence Day. Spokesman Ken Peterson says scientists monitor the shark’s swimming and feeding before deciding whether to tag and release it, or bring it to the Aquarium. This little guy wasn’t eating the bait fish, so, “deciding to err on the side of animal caution, we let it go,” Peterson says. “But fishermen brought in another one the following day.” Boo!

The new one, a 5-feet-3-inch long female, now waits in the holding pen for biologists to decide if she’ll get a chance at superstar status.

“I’m always hopeful we’ll get one back here, but it always tends to be a long shot,” Peterson says. “Of the 33 sharks to date, 17 have been field tagged and released and three have made it up to Monterey for up to six months. Three animals in seven years is great in a situation where no one has ever done one, but the prospect of any one individual making it up here, the odds are pretty long.”

Maybe the Aquarium should consider a certain super-hot Squid instead.

CROSSED OUT… A lot like Squid, Squid’s trusted sources have big hearts– and big questions about big bureaucracy (OK, so Squid can claim one outta two). When one such Squid associate logged some volunteer hours at the shelter set up for Big Sur evacuees, questions about the behemoth on the scene, the Red Cross, were hard to ignore.

Calls from Red Cross staffers to people they were going to train came hours after expected. Despite the fact that immigrants dominated the population in need, no forms were circulated in Spanish for five days. And Red Cross rules meant having to turn away waves of people begging to know how they could help– and refusing food, blankets, diapers, towels, kids’ games and clothes. Locals desperate to donate found mostly frustration; their options were limited.

There’s good news, however. The Red Cross did deploy a handful of truly inspiring leaders and, through it all, was very much trying to help. More importantly, the heroic Big Sur Hotline team, unbound by regulation, was able to receive donations and redistribute them quickly. And that warms Squid’s mollusk-sized heart.