Slither up, ask and you shall receive everything you want to hear about rockin' Monterey.

rockIwas reminded by the infamous local musical guru Juan Collier (pronounced John) last week that we are near the beginning of the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Snake. Since Juan was born under the Snake sign and felt it was the foundation of his gray matter, he was compelled to sit behind his counter and spout off about his brilliant brainpan. So I nominate Juan Collier for guru not only of all recorded music in existence but also of all the Baby Snakes out there looking for a good time this week. If you have problems, just head down to the corner record shop and visit Juan.

The scene is blessed this week with everything one could desire. Last week we looked at Monterey music and wished for females-this week we''ve got it. The outpouring of sympathetic letters and inspirational hype has been enormous and it will remain the duty of this column to keep you ahead of the musical game.

Jaqui Hope is a singer without a genre label. She performs a soulful mix of tunes on a regular basis at Sly McFly''s every Sunday. With her on stage are mannish-boys Joseph Lucido (guitar), Michael Shannon (drums) and David Sanford (dirty-backbone bass). In a recent missive to me, Hope expressed her displeasure with my labeling of all music-making women as pure rockers.

"A lot of us do things a different way," Hope wrote. "Like Eryka Badu and other groovalicious poetesses."

Here is a woman who has not only added "groovalicious" to my ever-growing database of funky words, but who also swings upon her heavy soul with every word. Hope will perform a funkadelic mixture of music this week at Sly''s. In the name of all that isn''t Britney Spears, I think it will be an opportunity to see something different and special.

Sly''s also provides a birthday bash landing pad Saturday for female vocalist Taylor P. Collins. Ms. Collins will undoubtedly flex her vocal muscles to out-sing most songbirds west of the Mississippi. Friday night at Sly''s see local group Red Beans & Rice hyping a festive, bluesy crowd.

The "best band in Alaska," Yukon Ryders, will defrost at Blue Fin on Friday night. It would be a tragedy to miss this group of stable and experienced folk-rocking performers as they grace our temperate Monterey shores. The entire corner between Blue Fin and Sly McFly''s will be packed with a colorful flavoring that night, which is sure to wet any pallet.

A titillating flyer I hold in my sweaty little hand shows a woman with a guitar etched along her spine. Very interesting. It''s gotta be the 7th Annual Erotic Art Show. There''d be no sense in stepping on my own toes about what goes on at an Erotic Art Show--its written up by yours truly on the art page in this issue (see page 42).

Instead, I''ll tell you about the blessing bestowed upon us once again by "Babaloo" Brad Mallory and Susan Collins, who put this show together every year. The show itself will be stuffed full of erotic pictures and special sculptures your mother never talked to you about. The gig also provides an opportunity to dress up and play seductive diva for a night. Think of it as a mini-Burning Man and you''ll do just fine.

Three groups will command the spotlights at this year''s Erotic Art Show. To start with, the Amazon Mollies will perform at the show. (Did they hear my plea last week?) The all-femme-fatale group will slink onto stage with new guitar player Molly D. Rock and perform songs from its new record, Sugar Mollies. The opening track off the CD, "Killer," is my favorite. The Mollies are everything that''s good and sexy about rock ''n'' roll, and everything independent about any form of music. Oh yea, and they''re cute only when you''re nice to them. The women hail from Peppermint Falls, California, an imaginary place on the far fringes of Monterey. Molly X, Montana X, Molly Tuesday and Molly D. Rock will give us all a taste of what we''ve missed.

Another group performing at the Turf Club sexcapades is the Darktown Rounders. I think it''s safe to say that if you haven''t heard them, you must be either a tourist or lead a very boring life.

Last up for the Erotic Art Show is Blind Curve, a group with some name recognition but whom I believe require further devious explorations prior to musical analysis.

Until next week--keep your pants on for as long as possible.