Zero Stars

ZERO STARS… In between oozing around on land to see what type of reality government officials and lobbyists are living in, Squid likes to check out from reality by holing up in the lair to play some Grand Theft Auto. After a long night of listening to electeds ramble, nothing is more satisfying than carjacking a brodozer – virtually, of course.

Squid is excited for the newest iteration of the series releasing this year. Apparently, Rene Alvarez Landa and Jose Olegario Gonzalez of Royal Oaks couldn’t wait either.

The two men were busted on April 21 after they allegedly stole a tractor from a Royal Oaks home early the previous morning. According to the Monterey County Sheriff’s Office, the owner had installed a tracking device on the tractor, so he was able to track it to a property on San Miguel Canyon Road, about two miles away from where it was stolen.

When deputies arrived, they found the tractor was in the process of being repainted a different color. That may have worked in Grand Theft Auto – the virtual cops miraculously stop chasing you when you repaint the vehicle you stole – but in real life, it’ll take a lot more to fool detectives.

The men were booked into jail but have since been released. Their arrests cost them, too – Landa’s bail was set at $75,000, with Gonzalez’s at $30,000. At least that’s one thing reality has in common with the game.

SAY WHAT?… Speaking of oozing around to hear electeds ramble, Squid’s statocysts perked up after a long two-plus hours of public comment in Salinas City Council chambers on Tuesday, April 22, to hear what councilmembers had to say about a suite of rent stabilization ordinances passed in 2022-24 (see story, p. 10). After all, Councilmember Aurelio Salazar opened his remarks by saying, “Disclaimer: I am the most longwinded councilmember,” only to be outdone in length by Councilmember Andrew Sandoval a while later. Salazar did indeed give an extensive personal biography, as sort of a “yes, but” preamble to advocating to rescind all four ordinances.

Councilmember Margaret D’Arrigo was brief with her words of empathy: “I come from a farmworker family, we employ about 2,500 employees,” she said, referencing 20-plus years at D’Arrigo Bros.

Salazar also offered some guidance on how to listen, which includes: “You put your finger on your head and say, what I’m hearing is… ”

He heard from renters who wanted to keep the ordinances in place, only to override those concerns. He also heard from property owners, who wanted council to revoke the ordinances. “Property companies – they’re people too, right?” Salazar said.

Squid checked. No, companies are not people, despite what the Supreme Court says.