Turds ‘n Turf

TURDS ‘N TURF...Squid was driving the old jalopy around the other day when Squid slowed to stop, along with other cars, to watch a mama goose and her goslings make their way across Canyon Del Rey, taking their sweet, adorable time as they marched from the grass in front of Seaside City Hall to Laguna Grande Park. Drivers pulled out their phones for pictures, and it was a fleeting moment of grace.

But those geese, Squid has come to learn, are no longer so welcome at Laguna Grande Park, a bonafide birding hotspot, because they—being wild animals—are unable to fully practice the “leave no trace” ethos: A goose gotta poo. Squid’s not sure why some humans find it so hard to say that word, but members of Seaside City Council were careful to not step in it during a budget workshop in June. Councilmember Dave Pacheco—when considering how to spend $250,000 of unallocated funds for Neighborhood Improvement Commission projects—suggested using the whole pot to put toward replacing the grass at Laguna Grande Park with artificial turf. The park’s lawn “has become a goose haven,” Pacheco said. “They are in control.” He added you can’t walk at the farmers market because the ground is “full of stuff.” Mayor Ian Oglesby was fully on board, adding, “Some of the happiest times happen at Laguna Grande, but we all know when we’re over there what we’re conscious of.”

C’mon, just say it!

PARTY POOPERS...Squid tuned into a Carmel City Council meeting on Monday, Aug. 4 for a hearing on Esperanza Carmel’s proposed J.B. Pastor building, owned by Monaco developer Patrice Pastor, and quickly got the shrimp-flavored popcorn popping.

First, Mayor Dale Byrne said that his impartiality had come under question due to Pastor’s donation 16 months ago to Carmel Cares, of which Byrne is a cofounder and is listed as its president and chief caring officer. Byrne called the concern misplaced. “There is no personal gain, only shared civic pride,” he said. On the advice of Carmel City Attorney Brian Pierik, he recused himself and left.

Councilmember Bob Delves then chimed in, disclosing that a project appellant, Rich Pepe, threw him a campaign party at one of Pepe’s restaurants at a value exceeding $1,000. He recused himself and left.

Next, Councilmember Hans Buder spoke up, revealing that Pepe had also thrown him a party. Buder gave back enough money to satisfy campaign finance law, then recused himself anyway. When it became clear that the council wouldn’t have a quorum, Pierik told Buder he was legally required to participate.

After six hours of discussion—and a lot of shrimp-flavored popcorn—the three remaining councilmembers delayed a decision until Sept. 8. Squid predicts cheaper campaign parties in Carmel’s future.