SQUIDFRY: Whine Country

WHINE COUNTRY… One of the many advantages of being a creature of the sea is there is no need for roads. Squid can swim where Squid wants. That’s not to say there isn’t traffic – have you ever seen a school of sardines? – but nonetheless, sea creatures manage to get along swimmingly.

If only the same could be said for Carmel Valley, where some residents oppose every proposed development with a religious fervor. Which is fitting, given that the most absurd manifestation of that fervor in Squid’s memory was the recent opposition to converting a Cachagua residence into a small church. The primary reason for that opposition? Traffic and more traffic. And while the Monterey County Planning Commission approved the project in August, the commissioners added a slew of permit conditions that include a maximum occupancy of 65 people and a two-year expiration on the permit.

Enter high-powered attorney Tony Lombardo, who, on behalf of the church, appealed those two conditions to the Board of Supervisors, which will consider the issue Oct. 17. It’s all enough to make Squid’s head spin, because if approving a small church in Cachagua takes nearly a year to make its way through the county approval process, the complicated problems facing the world feel that much more intractable.

There’s always prayer.

BANKING ON IT… If Squid had to put a quarter in the piggy bank every time Squid was late, Squid’s pretty sure Squid would be on time more often. Money talks, especially in political campaigns, where local candidates have made out-fundraising their opponents something of a Monterey Bay pastime. So Squid would think that by now they’d figure out how to keep their paperwork – and their cash – in a row, considering the California Fair Political Practices Commission slaps pols with late fines every time they mess up their paperwork. (Not to mention that it makes it harder for Squid’s colleagues to report to the public who’s getting money from whom.)

FPPC’s piggy bank looks to be filling up this month thanks to late fees against locals, set for approval at an Oct. 19 meeting. Soledad City Councilman Alejandro Chavezfiled 10 campaign finance statements late from 2013-16, for a proposed penalty of $4,008 – unfortunate considering he reported spending $667 that whole time. Amit Pandya, who ran (unsuccessfully) for mayor of Salinas last year, filed two finance statements late and is getting dinged $503. And for Robert S. Jones, a consultant to the city of Monterey, who failed to file paperwork on time: a $400 penalty.

Squid once ran for student council on change Squid had collected in a jar, but Squid will likely stay out of local politics: Squid has as many deadlines as Squid can handle, and never enough cash.