SQUIDFRY 12.12.20: Short Course

SHORT COURSE… It’s true that Squid has, from time to time, been known to engage in some gentle exercise – a leisurely stroll, for example. But biking? Biking is tricky – too many spokes for Squid’s tentacles to get caught up in, too many speed demons whizzing by in Spandex. Plus, it’s tiring. So when Squid does take to two wheels, Squid likes to select a route that is as short as possible.

All this is why Squid was tickled to see Monterey’s infamous “bike lane to nowhere,” which runs down the middle of Fremont for a handful of blocks, received an Excellence in Transportation Award from the California Department of Transportation. A four-block long bike lane that delivers Squid smoothly from Casa Verde Way to Casanova Avenue? From the Monterey Fairgrounds (once Squid figures out how to cross the street) to Monterey Donuts?

Sure, the $9.4 million project might have been over-budget and behind schedule. And sure, it’s not practical, nor excellent, to bicyclists in real life. But from one traffic engineer to another, it’s the epitome of greatness: “Caltrans is pleased to highlight the projects that meet California’s growing transportation needs by providing a safe, sustainable, integrated and efficient transportation system to enhance California’s economy and livability.” Maybe if the economy you’re talking about is for non-bikers to get a donut. Otherwise, Squid gives this project the Uselessness in Transportation Award.

DON’T DRIVE ANGRY… It’s a little known fact, but the 2008 Garth Stein novel The Art of Racing in the Rain, about an ambitious Formula One race car driver and the dog who loves him, originally featured a squid instead of a pooch. Cephalopods love speed. But alas, Stein quickly figured out that if he was going to sell the film rights, nobody wanted to see an eight-tentacled blob of sea life riding shotgun instead of a fuzzy-faced golden retriever.

You know who else loves speed? Chris Pook. The veteran race promoter and founder of the Long Beach Grand Prix had his sights set on the Laguna Seca management contract, which went to AFOMCBS (that’s A Friend of the Monterey County Board of Supervisors) John Narigi, a veteran hotelier with no racing experience, instead. And now Pook has sued, claiming that the process to select the new track manager was a mixture of “favoritism, fraud and corruption” in which the supes and Dewayne Woods, assistant county administrator, created an unfair advantage for Narigi. Narigi’s first season was mostly derailed by the pandemic, so it’s impossible to assess how he’s performed in this crazy year. But Woods tells Squid’s colleague, via email, “The county believes the process was fair and appropriate.”

Ah, Monterey County. Maybe the new slogan should be, “Welcome to Laguna Seca. Nothing to see here.”