SQUIDFRY 12.10.15: SHELL GAME…

SHELL GAME… There are moments in life, in Squid’s experience, when it’s just time to give up. Like when Squid tried, on several occasions, to teach manners to a particularly rude sea otter a few years back, an attempt that ended with an abalone shell being thrown at Squid’s head. Some things just aren’t going to happen.

Yet some out there still cling to the notion that anything is possible, that if you fail repeatedly, keep trying. This seems particularly true of the proponents of Monterey Downs, the proposed Fort Ord development that centers around a horse track, two hotels and scores of new homes.

Aside from there not being nearly enough water, or that a recent report revealed that unless both hotels are built, Downs would forever be a financial drag on Seaside, Squid learned another interesting tidbit of late.

A source tells Squid the land developers hope to build the hotels on is owned by Monterey-Salinas Transit, and MST – snakebit by the PR disaster of the proposed Whispering Oaks/MST project a few years back – has no interest in selling it to Downs developers.

MST CEO Carl Sedoryk won’t confirm that, and says no proposals for the land have yet been made. But he did agree: the now deader than dead Whispering Oaks plan was a PR nightmare for MST.

Which makes Squid wonder: What it will take for Seaside City Council to accept reality? Squid’s got plenty of abalone shells lying around.

Tone Deaf… In order to keep Squid’s small brain sharp, Squid maintains a fairly strict diet on the weekends of shrimp popcorn, popcorn shrimp and reading poetry about shrimp.

On Sunday, Squid was doing just that and accidentally came upon the work of American poet Emma Lazarus, whose famous words talk mostly about welcoming immigrants into the land of the free, and are often used by politicians when advocating for immigration policy reform.

In fact, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services just named their virtual assistant “Emma,” who answers all sorts of questions, but only “in plain English.” Huh? You mean Squid can ask Siri about the meaning of life, but can’t even ask Emma a simple question in Spanish? Or Mandarin? Or Arabic? Does Emma also provide the service of Anglicizing names?

Squid also wondered, with all the deportations going on in Monterey County, who would be the virtual assistant of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. Vanilla ICE? The Donald?

And in the spirit of the holidays, Carmel might consider naming its virtual assistant The Grinch, and it could explain to Carmel’s visitors why there are no bonfires, high heels, vapor cigarettes, ice cream cones or pot dispensaries allowed.