SQUIDFRY 10.22.20: McShaniac Rising

McSHANIAC RISING… Saltwater in an open wound hurts cephalopods as much as it hurts humans. Squid knows, because Squid is still recovering from the papercuts received when a pile of campaign literature fell on Squid, nearly crushing a tentacle. Squid had vowed to be more cautious when opening the mailbox, but now Squid is suffering a beak injury, having faceplanted after reading the latest round of campaign literature from District 4 county supervisor candidate Steve McShane. It wasn’t that the literature weighed much, but rather, what it claimed that made Squid fall to the ground in hysterical laughter.

First up, McShane, currently a member of Salinas City Council, sent a mailer stating that he will END involuntary homelessness in Monterey County. He’s also publicly stated that he is helping open the Casa de Noche Buena homeless shelter in Seaside, prompting one committee member to email Squid’s colleague to say they’d never seen him at a single meeting nor heard his name in connection with the shelter. But no matter, because McShane has other big promises: “I will end Covid-19 in Monterey County in my first term and return us to pre-pandemic economic prosperity.”

By day, McShane sells fertilizer. Squid wonders if that’s spilled into his political life, because claiming that – if elected to a county seat you will end Covid – smells awfully bad.

GET THE ZOOMIES… It’s a little-known fact that Squid’s lair is a rental. Squid’s landlord makes repairs as needed and sends shrimp-flavored cookies on holidays, but otherwise collects the rent and leaves Squid alone.

Squid knows not everyone is lucky enough to have a lair, much less a chill landlord, and so decided to join a Zoom forum designed to get renters out to vote. Sponsored by Monterey County Renters United and Monterey City Councilmember Tyller Williamson, #RentersVote featured discussions on the county’s rental assistance program and a Yes on Prop. 21 discussion led by a rep from the California Democratic Renter’s Council.

Williamson introduced the electeds participating in the forum, as well as any candidate endorsed by the CDRC or Renters United. As Williamson completed his remarks, Monterey mayoral candidate Timothy Barrett – having not been introduced because neither organization endorsed him – unmuted his mic and introduced his own damn self. But before he could launch into his own unfulfilled housing promises from his one term on Monterey City Council, Renters United chief Esther Malkin asked the host to kick him off the call and block him.

Democracy: so messy and so 2020. At least everyone kept their pants on, which is more than can be said for other prominent Zoom meetings this week.