SQUIDFRY 08.25.16: Payment Plan…

PAYMENT PLAN… Squid has been stashing Squid’s pennies of late, saving for special indulgences like a set of matching hand-made tentacle warmers for the winter. Fortunately for Squid, Squid doesn’t have any major debts to pay.

Not so for Steve Collins, who you may remember from the desal project-that-wasn’t. (In 2011, it came to light Collins was on the board of Monterey County Water Resources Agency, and also getting paid by project contractor RMC. He eventually pleaded no contest to felony charges of conflict of interest and grand theft, related to his CPA invoicing practices, in March 2014.) That means Collins is a convicted felon, which has made it tough to get loans – and tough to pay off his $89,000 restitution bill.

He’s paid down $9K so far, and has otherwise met the terms of probation, so his attorney, Assistant Public Defender Don Landis, argued in court Aug. 17 that Collins’ felony conviction should be reduced to a misdemeanor. “Misdemeanor time is as impactful on Mr. Collins, at his station in life,” Landis said. “Formal probation at this point is a joke.” Besides, Landis argued, losing the felony would let Collins – who’s working as a consultant – access credit, which would help him pay down the rest.

Superior Court Judge Andrew Liu ruled to keep Collins’ felony on the books, and also asked Collins to file records of monthly income and expenditures with the court, presumably to prove what it is he really can – or can’t – afford to pay.

Maybe Collins will consider getting into consulting for lucrative business opportunities, like tentacle-warmers.

SNEAK ATTACK… The smoky haze is good for Squid’s sensitive complexion, helping prevent sunburn and finally giving Squid a chance to tan. So Squid went down to soak up some rays and sprawled out on Fisherman’s Wharf, but was quickly nabbed by Monterey police officers who alerted Squid it was a violation of the city’s sit-and-lie ordinance, and then gave Squid a citation.

Squid wasn’t jailed, but after hearing what Squid’s colleagues were told by Monterey County Undersheriff Michael Moore, Squid wishes Squid had been. It seems like the only way into the public facility these days.

Squid’s colleague requested access to Monterey County Jail, which is currently in the process of making major updates, largely due to the settlement terms of a federal class-action suit filed by inmates. Moore then responded via email with this gem: “I know [Weekly photographer] Nic (Coury) is champing at the bit to take pictures of the jail, but no pictures until we are done with all our renovations and upgrades.” Apparently, other media outlets have been “champing at the bit” too.

Maybe next weekend Squid will be “accidentally” caught publicly urinating at the wharf. Perhaps then, Squid can get a sneak peek at the jail.