TECH GLITCH… Squid tries hard to stay up with the times, but it isn’t easy. Until recently, Squid was still using MySpace to look for gossip on Squid’s seal neighbors. And Squid finally got a Twitter account to post photos of Squid’s delicious shrimp snacks, but learned right away Squid was supposed to be on Instagram and Snapchat too.
It’s just too much to keep up with, even with 10 tentacles. Squid needs a massage… which now Squid can do with Squid’s phone. The PR team at Zeelannounced that their “massage on demand” app launches in Monterey County Aug. 22. That means 365 days a year, from 8am-10:30pm, Squid can book a massage – ironic considering Monterey now requires massage parlors to close at 9pm. Maybe Squid will go wild on Squid’s phone with new apps and rent anAirbnb unit in Monterey (also illegal) and order a massage therapist at 10pm.
Or maybe Squid will settle in for a quiet night in a rented granny unit (also illegal) to watch the livestream of Monterey City Council meetings. At least the city’s shiny new website seems to be working, after a few glitches. Salinas’ own shiny new website, which cost a cool $60K isn’t quite complete. When Squid tried to find the latest Salinas City Council meeting, Squid landed on a “Page Not Found” error message.
Squid would rather just get a massage.
FEEL THE HEAT… Squid has a certain colleague – colleagues, actually – who think it’s OK to microwave fish at work. Squid loves fish, but that’s just wrong. Squid appreciates fancy cars, but hates what Car Week does to Squid’s life. Squid loves Squid’s bulldog, Roscoe B. Coltrane, but hates yappy dogs, dogs that shed and dogs that bark. Squid hates when people say “kinda” all the time, when people stand in line for 10 minutes then don’t know what they’re going to order, when the batteries run out in the remote when Squid’s watching Real Housewives, when there’s dirty dishes in the sink, when…
Yes, Squid is a creature with all sorts of petty and complex rage. But once in a while, something miraculously thaws Squid’s small, cold, dark, three-chambered heart.
Like what happened last Friday, Aug. 19 in downtown Monterey. As part of a concert originally scheduled for Henry Miller Memorial Library, Sharon Van Etten was joined by last-minute star additions Mike Nesmith, Al Jardine and Johnny Rivers. The concert raised $40,000 for fire relief, while providing a distraction from a blaze that has surpassed the size of Omaha, Nebraska. Among the highlights: Jardin was joined on “God Only Knows” by Van Etten and MegBaird, and Nesmith nailed “Rays,” then addressed the fire like it was in the room. The latter was Squid’s favorite moment, and way better than Clint Eastwoodaddressing a chair.
(1) comment
How does Squid feel about the adorable Googly Eyed Stubby Squid all over the news and internet? Have you ever been referred to as a "cuddle fish".
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