SQUIDFRY 05.24.18: Juggling Act

JUGGLING ACT… As a Squidlet, Squid dreamed of joining the circus – leaping through flaming hoops, eating fire, juggling. That last one Squid might be good at if Squid applied Squidself, considering Squid’s 10-appendage advantage.

But Squid shelved those dreams for the greater good, devoted instead to watching public meetings, noshing on shrimp-flavored popcorn and writing about it (the meetings and the popcorn). But a government contract to a juggler has Squid rethinking Squid’s priorities.

On May 17, the board of the Salinas Valley Solid Waste Authority voted unanimously to approve a $50,000 contract with Doug Nolan of Rock Steady Juggling to continue doing educational performances at schools throughout Monterey County. Squid’s all for teaching the next generation about the “Four R’s” – reduce, reuse, recycle, rot – in a fun and engaging way (think, juggling with trash) but Squid also thinks Nolan’s assembly program, “The Amazing Adventures of the Recycling Wizard,” is not reducing public expenditures. Last year, he did 74 performances. By Squid’s calculations, that’s an average of $676 per show. Maybe Squid should run away to the circus.

OIL MONEY… Speaking of ways to get big money flowing fast, here’s one: Run for public office and tell voters you’ll go to Sacramento and stand up to Big Oil. That’s what San Benito County Supervisor Robert Rivas is doing in the five-way race for Assembly District 30, and he’s now facing opposition from this clunkily named Independent Expenditure Committee: Coalition to Restore California’s Middle Class, Including Energy Companies Who Produce Gas, Oil, Jobs and Pay Taxes.

Donors include oil companies Chevron, Valero and California Resources Corporation. Recent expenditures include $319,000 against Rivas. (Notably, more than Rivas has spent.) The latest radio spot paid for by CRCMCIECWPGOJPT (do they pronounce the acronym?) that Squid heard on KPIG said, “Vote no on Robert Rivas.”

The ad did not say which of the other four candidates they want you to vote yes on – just anyone but that guy.

BINGO BALLERS… Squid dropped in on at the first-ever Pacific Grove Short-Term Rental Lottery on May 22. City staff used a rented pingpong ball machine – the same type used for theNBA draft, they said. Squid looked up the vendor, Smartplay International, Inc., and found this: “Everyone loves the chance to win big! Generate excitement at your next event by renting a lottery or bingo machine.” Squid did not see any excitement at P.G.’s event, only grumbling among short-term rental owners during what proved to be a tedious, three-plus-hour event. About the most exciting thing to Squid was the popping pingpong balls: Squid left early to make some shrimp-flavored popcorn.