SQUIDFRY 04.23.15: Soft Rub…

Soft Rub… Squid has curious habits for a cephalopod. When other cephalopods are cruising the coast for a mid-morning snack, Squid is searching out shrimp popcorn. While fellow mollusks court in groups, Squid prefers the romance of a candlelit dinner and a glass of Pinot.

Perhaps Squid’s most unusual habit is using time and brainpower (both limited) to scour city council agendas, a routine that’s usually as mundane as it sounds. But every once in a while, something piques Squid’s interest, like a vague item on the April 24 Monterey City Council agenda to amend the city code with respect to massage parlors.

Was the city finally going to crack down on rubdown businesses, the sheer number of which has baffled Squid for years? Squid called the city attorney’s office for answers, and was told no, the proposed changes were minor, and would require parlor owners to post their employees’ names, etc. Yawn.

But then Squid saw a headline on the Monterey Herald’s website: “Monterey’s massage businesses in the hot seat.” Wait, what? The article then goes on to state, “It is not clear yet what Tuesday’s discussion will entail.”

How’s that for a sensational headline that doesn’t match the reporting. Not that Squid’s complaining. It’s not often Squid gets to read city code about “friction, stroking, kneading, rubbing, stretching, pounding, vibrating, or stimulating the external surfaces” in the course of a workday.

Rent from the Rich… Squid has always had a soft spot for populist heroes, from Robin Hood to Elizabeth Warren. When Squid starts to feel cramped in the lair, but is reluctant to look for new digs in this extreme seller’s market (see story, p. 12), Squid gets to thinking: It would just be so simple if we could rob from the rich and give to the poor. Or at least rent from the rich to the poor at reasonable rates, which doesn’t seem to be happening much these days.

The Housing Authority of Monterey County has declared a crisis: “Rental housing availability and housing costs in the county are infamously out of sync with income levels,” reads the April 21 press release, “and for the working poor, veterans, elderly and disabled of our county, the problem is reaching proportions that are at [a] crisis level.”

The Housing Authority reports a seven-year waiting list for low-income residents who hold housing choice vouchers, subsidized by HUD. So the Housing Authority is asking landlords, property managers and apartment managers to consider a classic Robin Hood-style move: Take a small loss and rent a unit to a voucher-holder.

But instead of leaping out of the bushes and wielding swords, the Housing Authority is plugging the voucher program at an April 29 rental housing summit – at Corral de Tierra Country Club. Squid’s pretty sure Robin Hood couldn’t get a membership there.