SQUIDFRY 04.04.19: Nice Rack

NICE RACK… Sometimes, Squid has to force Squidself out of the lair and into civilization to do tasks like resupply Rosco P. Coltrane’s dog food, lurk in back of a city council meeting or get the paper.

In downtown Pacific Grove this week, Squid picked up Homes Magazine, which claims to be the “premier real estate magazine for California’s Central Coast.” Squid flipped through looking for ideas for sprucing up the lair. Instead, Squid found 44 pages of glossy images of places Squid will never be able to afford. For “dramatic views in Pebble Beach,” $7 million. For a “stunning French country transitional estate” – Squid’s not clear what it’s transitioning from or to – in Pasadera, $2.8 million.

Funny thing, then, that Homes Magazine hasn’t figured out the deal with its own 8-by-11-inch real estate in newspaper racks. The last edition was piled up all over the top of P.G.’s newspaper racks last year, prompting Milas Smith from the Public Works Department to photograph the mess and send a letter of violation Dec. 7. (The Weekly and others have permits under city code governing neat and tidy news racks – yes, there is such a thing.)

On April 1, Smith sent a follow-up to Homes: “This is your second violation. Cost of removal and maintenance will be assessed.”

Sounds like a not-so-fancy version of an eviction notice – maybe fodder for a special issue on foreclosures?

RED TAPE… Having tentacles would probably make Squid an excellent disc golf player. Squid doesn’t know because Squid does not exert Squidself unless being chased by angry city councilmembers, but it does make Squid curious about the languishing Ryan Ranch Disc Golf Course. Squid found no evidence of a conspiracy to keep the beloved course closed. What Squid did find, however, is the bureaucratic obstruction of common sense.

The city of Monterey had plans to install solar panels at Ryan Ranch, which would have impacted Stinging Jellies, the local disc golf club. The solar panel plan was scuttled, but city officials realized that the disc golfers had been playing on city property without proper approval for the past 10 years. In December, the city banned disc golf from the location, citing concerns over wildlife and ADA compliance.

Club brass decided to go along with the city, expecting a return to the course within six months once the red tape was resolved. But Squid’s colleague checked in with city planner Kimberly Cole, who indicates a much longer timeline. The site plan is still being drawn up and no environmental review will be possible until funding is allocated, and that can’t begin before a City Council meeting in July. Meanwhile, the Stinging Jellies are left high and dry. Squid wonders if they might launch a campaign: Let them throw frisbees.