Squid sneaks a look at Congressional intrigue through the big eye of Sam Farr.

NOT SO FAST… Squid’s two besties, Moray D. Eel and Flapjack L. Octopus, usually get along nicely. When Moray sulks over a breakup, Flapjack gets him out to the club. When Flapjack drinks too much, Moray takes her keys. But when MBARI researcher Stephanie Bush proposed re-naming Flapjack Opisthoteuthis adorabilis – “because they’re really cute,” she told the press – Moray couldn’t handle the jealousy, and socked Flapjack right in her soft pink belly. Squid doesn’t know whose side to take.

Rep. Sam Farr must know the feeling. His two political besties, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and President Barack Obama, went separate ways over the Trade Promotion Authority, aka “Fast Track.” The legislation would have expanded Obama’s power to negotiate trade deals that Congress can’t tweak. Except the House Dems didn’t fall in line: On June 12, they torpedoed Fast Track. House Minority Leader Pelosi led the Dem rebellion, but Farr stuck by the president. As House Republicans and the White House try to salvage Obama’sTrans-Pacific Partnership, Squid’s working to mediate the beef between Flapjack and Moray. But if Squid has to choose, Squid will have to go with Flapjack. Not because she’s right, but because she’s cute.

WEBS AND WEAVES… Squid’s long embraced Squid’s identity as a hermaphroditic, ageless, boneless mollusk. Now, thanks to Rachel Dolezal, Squid can add “transracial” to the list. Because, well, Squid’s gotten pretty good at hiding things.

But the PR folks at California American Water might have Squid beat with their very quiet June 16 acknowledgement – a little statement buried in the backwoods of their Water Supply Project website – that Cal Am turned off its test well June 5.

This is the test well that’s supposed to prove Cal Am’s desal plant will draw only seawater, not Salinas Valley groundwater. But a condition of the California Coastal Commission permit says if the groundwater level drops more than 1.5 feet, the test well stops. As the project’s Hydrologic Working Group reported, the groundwater level dropped more than 1 foot – enough to spook Cal Am into cutting the motor.

That means the slant well was drawing down the aquifer, right? Not according to the hydro group, which concluded seasonal ag irrigation did it. That seems logical enough. Except… Squid has to raise one freshly tweezed eyebrow. See, SoCal-based Geoscience Support Services is running the slant well testing. And desal watchdogs Charles Cechand Ron Weitzman are calling out an alleged conflict of interest: They say Geoscience President Dennis Williams holds the patent for Cal Am’s slant well. Squid confirmed he holds slant well and brine disposal patents, then went back to getting Squid’s spray tan on. Cover-ups are hard work.