Squid hoists a glass of Seaside water with GOP shotcaller Paul Bruno.

Dream Team…Despite the curmudgeonly editorial advice of Carmel Pine Cone editor Paul Miller, Squid dares to dream, and still buys a lottery ticket now and then. Yet, in fairness to Miller, Squid comes up empty time and time again.

Occasionally, when Squid’s not-so-pretty penny scratches off that last sign of defeat, Squid considers going to law school and getting after some of that lawyer money. Then Squid-sense sets in:

Squid’s attention span is barely enough to get through a viral internet video, let alone tort law, and if Squid had to choose between parsing through legalese for the rest of Squid’s professional life or chewing on glass, the latter would probably win out.

But perhaps the biggest reason is that many laws just don’t make sense to Squid, and that’s never more true than with water rights in California.

This comes to mind because of a recent water transaction, one that wouldn't have attracted Squid’s attention if not for a name that always makes Squid perk up: local GOP shotcaller Paul Bruno.

Bruno!!! (Squid shakes tentacle.)

Bruno, an elected member of the Monterey County Republican Central Committee, last made news in the Weekly when protesters shut down Highway 1 in Monterey during a Black and Brown Lives Matter march this spring. As gridlock ensued, Bruno was photographed wielding a cable and gesturing to a Monterey Police officer, who was blocking access to the protest. (Squid’s colleague asked Bruno what he intended to do with that cable, but never got a clear answer.)

Recently, Squid discovered that Bruno, a principal and owner at Monterey Peninsula Engineering, is also in the water business: Along with fellow MPE-er Peter Taormina, who is also a GOP backer (Squid confirmed this by of campaign contributions), Bruno is a principal member of Cypress Pacific Investors, LLC, which owns rights to about 3.5 acre feet annually from the Seaside Groundwater Basin.

Cypress acquired the water in 2005 when they purchased a parcel of land along Tioga Avenue in Sand City from the Muriel E. Calabrese 1987 Trust for $275,000.

And in August, they got permission from the Monterey Peninsula Water Management District board to sell the groundwater attached to that property to the Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula, which has had plans for years to build more outpatient facilities at Ryan Ranch but didn’t have the water to do it.

The water rights were obtained via a 2006 adjudication in Monterey County Superior Court that meted out historic water rights in the Seaside Basin. Part of that adjudication says that if the water was to be sold, it would be pumped away from the coast from Cal Am’s Seaside wells.

What a world you humans have created for yourselves. How this is all possible is case and point as to why Squid wouldn’t make a good lawyer.

To recap: Two local Monterey County Republicans acquired Sand City land a decade ago, are are now selling its water to a hospital!

How much money the water is selling for annually isn’t public information—both entities are privately owned—and neither CHOMP nor Bruno would reveal that information to Squid’s colleague. But Squid would bet it’s a tidy sum.

Squid would also bet that future patients at CHOMP’s yet-to-be-built Ryan Ranch facilities will drink this water unaware of its provenance. Squid can only guess at what Bruno and Taormina think about the whole deal, but Squid can’t help but imagine them in a man-cave somewhere, smoking Cuban cigars while sitting in leather-bound chairs and wringing their hands over a coffee table covered with $100 bills:

Hey Seaside, thanks for the groundwater! Mmmwwahahaa!

But Bruno, when speaking to Squid’s colleague, insists there isn’t some Machiavellian scheme at work, and questions whether the whole thing is even “Squid-worthy.”

Bruno says his construction company had been a tenant on the land since 1997, and has been using it as a construction yard ever since. When Cypress purchased the land, he says he didn’t even know about the water.

“Everybody tries to read more into something than it really is,” Bruno says. “It’s a very good use of this somewhat limited resource, and I’m happy to assist the hospital.”

Squid’s colleague adds that Bruno was very friendly on the phone, and sounds like a nice guy.

Bruno!!!