Squid guzzles a glass of water, but not at East Village, as a PR guy turned journalist tackles those nasty wharf leases.

WATER WEIGHT… Squid tries to be a good steward of water during the drought. Especially since it means doing chores less frequently: letting the car get dirty, mopping the lair floor less often and letting Squid’s beloved English bulldog, Roscoe P. Coltrane, go weeks without a bath.

So it was no problem for Squid when the Monterey Peninsula Water Management District doubled down on mandatory water restrictions. MPWMD’s rules have actually been in effect for years, but everyone’s now paying more attention to a rigid garden-watering schedule and a strict intolerance for leaks. Restaurants only serve water at customers’ request.

So the other day, Squid asked for a glass of water with Squid’s coffee at East Village Coffee Lounge. Squid was denied. “We can’t serve water due to the drought,” the barista said. She suggested Squid buy a bottle of water instead – which left Squid feeling like the coffee shop was just spinning drought rules into profit. It also left Squid confused: Bottled water involves disposable plastic and shipping, so it’s much worse, environmentally, than tap. Squid would consider a coffee-only intake during the day, but worries what might happen if East Village baristas figure out coffee is also made of water.

DOWN GOES CHOWN… Squid loves Squid some drama, and for several Tuesdays over the past five months, the best show in town has been when the Monterey City Council gets together to talk leasing policies. Streaming the July 7 meeting live online, Squid was glued to the screen, eagerly awaiting the council’s discussion of two final leasing policy provisions: maintenance charges on the city’s wharves, and a potential limit on how many leases a person could hold on Fisherman’s Wharf.

Many of Squid’s favorite local characters often show up to speak their mind, but there was one who never had – until July 7. Enter Jon Chown, who calls himself a journalist, but who’s Linkedin profile leads with: “Public Relations and Marketing Services.” Hmmm.

“I’ve been doing some investigation into this,” Chown said. He went on to suggest the city was illegally using revenue it generated from its properties in the tidelands, which are subject to state law. He failed to give a specific example, but added, “You were granted that property, but you can’t just use it as the city’s piggy bank. That’s illegal.”

The council asked for clarification on this issue, and Monterey City Attorney Christine Davi was happy to oblige. “Tidelands [law] gives us broad discretion to maximize our return on tidelands leases,” she said. “It’s not an issue in your decision tonight.” She then went on a lengthy description of the ways the city can spend tideland revenues, including wharf maintenance. “I hope that helps.”

Lawyer: 1. PR guy – er, “journalist”: zero.