SQUID FRY: Milkman Application

MILKMAN APPLICATION… Squid’s applied for a lot of jobs in Squid’s day, and in almost every case, Squid never got back so much as a reply. Just another resume and cover letter lost in the ether. It’s tough out there for a cephalopod.

Some people, however, seem to have a golden touch. Take dairy farmer and former longtime county supervisor Lou Calcagno, whom the Monterey County Board of Supervisors just appointed as the public board member for what will become the Salinas Valley Groundwater Basin Groundwater Sustainability Agency.

There are no rules for acronyms, apparently, you just roll with what you’ve got. (For more about the growing alphabet soup of water agencies, see story, p. 10.)

Back to Calcagno: Before being appointed to the board, he had to fill out an application. While some other members of the public that applied for the same position offered lengthy descriptions of their qualifications, Calcagno went all-in on the minimalist route.

When asked to explain his reasons for wanting to serve on the board, and how he can contribute, Calcagno simply wrote: “Long term knowledge of water issues in North County. Was county supervisor, Monterey County pollution control agency, and many other boards.” In the section to describe “education/experience,” Calcagno offered just two words: “numerous experience.” And the section to describe other boards and commissions one has served on: “Numerous.” Nailed it, apparently.

LAYING DOWN THE LAW… Squid’s ears are not evolved enough to hear any unusual sound coming from the microwaves, despite Kellyanne Conway’s suggestion that wiretapping – err, make that “wiretapping” – might be set up in our kitchen appliances. But even Squid’s unsophisticated ears perked up when Squid started hearing whispers of a plan to oust SheriffSteve Bernal come 2018, because it’s never too soon to start planning for the next election.

Various activists have their sights on the sheriff’s chair because Bernal is the only local lawman who’s agreed to cooperate with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, giving ICE a desk in the county jail and access to booking records. One group, Community for Unity, has been advocating for cities to pass resolutions declaring themselves sanctuary cities. They’ve floated the idea of a recall effort, but with Bernal’s four-year term ending in 2018, they’re unlikely to mount a successful recall attempt before then. Instead, there’s likely to be a big slate of challengers mounting early campaigns against him.

Names already being floated include recently retired Salinas police chief Kelly McMillin and recently retired Marina police chief Ed Rodriguez. (McMillin says that’s wishful thinking, and he’s already endorsed Bernal.) Squid will keep Squid’s ear close to the microwave.