WET WHISTLES… Squid’s happy being a cephalopod, but even Squid sometimes wishes to be another creature for an hour or two. And while many might want to soar like an eagle, Squid dreams about becoming a fly. On a wall.
This week in San Francisco, Marina Coast Water District is facing off in court against California American Water and the Monterey County Water Resources Agency over the failed regional desal project. Marina Coast wants the $18 million it spent on the project back from Cal Am, but can only get it if the court rules Cal Am and MCWRA reneged on their ends of the deal.
Squid imagines shape-shifting into a fly on the wall of the hypothetical bar where three witnesses for the county – County Supervisor Dave Potter, former MCWRA chief Curtis Weeks and consultant Lyndel Melton – might go post-trial to knock a few back. (Melton, Squid recalls, is the genius who hired Steve Collins, then a MCWRA board member, to take the gig that eventually got him slapped on conflict-of-interest charges. Collins says he took the job with encouragement from Potter and Weeks.)
Squid pictures the three huddling around the bar ordering tequila sunrises. Potter hands cash to Melton to pay for the round. Melton gives half of it to Weeks, who uses it to order some mozzarella sticks for Potter. And round and round that money goes. After reminiscing about the days the old desal project had legs, they part with warm wishes of continued good fortune. By the time the bartender realizes they’ve stiffed him, they’re already in their cabs.
CANDY CRUSH… In one of the deepest contradictions of Squid’s trembling existence, Squid both loves sugary things and hates the disposable plastic it’s packaged in.
Those big feels collided when Squid stumbled upon a Hershey’s pop-up tent on Seaside Beach last month. Two dozen free snack-size chocolate bars later, Squid grabbed a garbage claw and joined the coastal clean-up. About a hundred yards downwind of the Hershey’s sponsor tent, Squid found – you guessed it – two plastic Hershey’s snack-size wrappers in the dune vegetation. If Squid hadn’t picked them up, they likely would have migrated to the North Pacific Garbage Patch and swirled there languidly, slowly breaking into plankton-sized pieces to be ingested by fish fated for Californian dinner plates.
Squid had a little existential crisis. Is Squid’s romance with candy poisoning Squid’s own aquatic lair? Can companies like Hershey’s be both part of the problem and part of the solution? Is Squid being a sucker for corporate greenwashing? Squid plucked up the plastic wrapper and, in a fatalistic impulse, popped it down the hatch. Squid immediately regretted it.
(0) comments
Welcome to the discussion.
Log In
Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.