Squid Fry 11.21.19: Okay, Susan

OKAY, SUSAN… When Squid oozes to Northridge Mall in Salinas, it’s to eat or see movies. Squid admits that until Nov. 12, Squid had never been to Planet Fitness – no shrimp-flavored popcorn – but there Squid was, along with a gaggle of Monterey County’s press corps and Chris Barrera, president of the local chapter of the League of United Latin American Citizens, hovering outside of the gym.

The reason: Three uniformed men, two with guns holstered to their waist – not usual workout attire – had appeared at lunchtime. “We’re just here to work out,” one said. Regular gym-goers thought they were U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers – hence the press and LULAC, waiting to see if they were there to make an arrest after their “workout.” But after waiting around on the sidewalk, the media got no face time with the officers. Instead, they got an angry visit from Northridge General Manager Susan Causey, who addressed the impromptu press pool: “There is no story, no officers in the gym, nobody there. Sorry.”

Seconds later, amid questions from Squid’s colleagues, she acknowledged that yes, there were officers – but they weren’t feds, Causey said. “They were from Salinas PD. False story. Fake news, as they say.”

A security guard couldn’t help but chime in to say, wrong. (Squid got confirmation: Salinas Police Department officers were not at the scene.) Squid’s not sure if Causey talks to the media often, but sticking to the facts works pretty well. Not lying also works.

HOME TEAM… The worsening climate crisis has gotten Squid thinking about Squid’s environmental tentacle-print. Squid recycles, votes for candidates with green bonafides and tries to eat less meat. Squid even squirrels away pennies to one day swap the jalopy out for an electric.

But by some standards, Squid’s existence won’t be sustainable enough no matter what Squid does. That’s because true eco-nirvana seems to come with a price tag of $5 million, at least according to the marketing materials of a new development called Walden Monterey. The project is now accepting offers, and $5 million will get you one of 22 lots in this 600-acre privately owned forest named after Henry David Thoreau’s Walden. The rules are that whatever house you build must use renewable energy and can’t displace any oak trees. Developer Nick Jekogian calls it an “agrihood,” a combination of agriculture – or is it aggressive? – and neighborhood. Building a rustic utopia for tech titans does strike Squid as kind of aggressive considering the housing crunch (see story, p. 14). In addition to providing housing for a few, Walden Monterey also seeks to become a gathering spot for world shakers – as explained on its website, in a stream of cliches about the virtues of disconnecting and being more mindful in nature – if you have a good WiFi connection.