SQUID FRY 10.27.16: Rental Mental…

RENTAL MENTAL… Squid thinks of Squidself as good-looking, kind, rational and brave. So yes, Squid has a lot of fantasies. That means Squid identifies with the likes of outlaw/cowboy executive chef Michael Jones of A Moveable Feast and, until last week, Cachagua General Store. Jones believes all sorts of nasty things about his former landlord – and Squid – and often takes to Facebook to lash out. And Squid’s fine with that. Squid may not have the largest brain in the sea, but Squid knows better than to assign credibility to late-night social media rants. Still, Squid spit out shrimp-flavored popcorn when reading one of Squid’s favorite e-newsletters last week. In reporting Jones’ move to Lokal restaurant in Carmel Valley, Edible Monterey Bay editor-in-chief Sarah Wood honored a pair of Jones pipe dreams: “Jones says a story in a local newspaper about his dispute with his landlord and the Soberanes Fire combined to make residents think CGS was closed… Meantime, he says the landlord was expecting ‘Carmel rents.’”

Squid knows Jones had blamed his eviction on Squid (the “local newspaper”), for quoting Jones himself as saying the store would at least close for roof repairs – though the eviction notice was issued well before that story ran, citing months of unpaid rent and lease violations. Squid also knows the rent – around $2,300 – is far from what, say, forthcoming Mulligan Public House pays for a smaller space in Carmel (around $10,000). Squid’s colleague called Wood, who said,  “We are serious journalists. I was reporting his opinion.”

She also noted this would be Squid’s first time writing about EMB. “I thought you had some rule about mentioning we exist,” Wood said. “This would be so unsurprising that the first time you report that we exist is to try to slam us.” Squid’s not sure if Squid should feel better or worse that Squid’s never appeared in EMB, except in photos of calamari.

DRESS UP… Squid was planning to be a mime for Halloween, a good way to bypass language barriers when trick-or-treating alongside terrestrial creatures. Unfortunately, Squid’s costume idea technically falls into the clown category. And a nationwide rumor of people dressing as clowns and wielding threats has hit Monterey County. Some have reported seeing scary clowns at CSU Monterey Bay, and a teenaged Facebook user with a clown alias threatened to shoot up schools from Salinas to King City. Halloween hot spots like Casa Sorrento in Salinas think the clown panic is no joke: In addition to a usual no-mask rule, they’re also enforcing a zero-tolerance policy on clown costumes this Halloween. Which makes Squid sad, but Squid’s not sure smiley face paint is even allowed.

Editor's note: This story has been updated.