SQUID FRY 07.18.13 - Safety First…

SAFETY FIRST… Sometimes Squid feels a profound sense of loneliness, so Squid finally tried Squid’s tentacles at online dating. Looking to hone in on eligible Monterey County singletons, Squid perused the many dating sites available and chose the one that made the most sense: FarmersOnly. A few potential matches appeared in Squid’s inbox. There was a 29-year-old in Marina who offered, “Time to Cowgirl Up!” and a Central Valley 28-year-old, a self-described “country girl lookin 4 real luv.” (The genderless Squid, looking for women this time, was pleased to see FarmersOnly got the memo about same-sex unions, and lets you select any option.)

As Squid was preparing to email some prospective lovers, a PSA came on the radio, reminding Squid of the number one rule of casual dating: safety first. Actually, make that the number one rule of farming. The announcements, by the California Department of Pesticide Regulation airing on Central Coast radio stations through Aug. 31, reminds listeners: “Don’t bring home pesticide residues.” That reminded Squid of slightly embarrassing college escapades, and scared Squid away from any dates who might’ve bruhed up against a strawberry plant lately – sorry, country girl, nothing personal.

BOOK SMARTS… Last weekend Squid was at Carmel Plaza store Anthropologie, when Squid was struck by a sign posted inside: “Anthropologie needs your help. We are collecting hardcover books for our upcoming fall display. This is your chance to be part of the Anthropologie magic!” Employees said the books (they want about 1,000) would be decorated and utilized to build in-store displays. One employee said the books are donated to schools and nonprofits, but declined to name any. “Hey, kids, we’ve got a distressed hope chest full of books like Intermediate Conversational German from the 1960s coming your way. Calm down. One at a time.”

But the sign’s proposition that they’ll accept books of “any size, any condition, any quantity” doesn’t portend promise, does it? “Maybe [Anthrolopologie] wants to create awareness for reading,” a librarian from Monterey County Free Libraries suggested. (Librarians are so nice.) Or, maybe they thought that asking for people to “donate” books – to a retail establishment that numbers 175 stores, that charges what they charge, in the real estate they inhabit – to be used as decoration was a fab idea. Squid has a fashion-forward idea for Anthropologie: When you are done with the books, donate them to our libraries, where they can be used as they were intended – to build up the minds of children and adults and strengthen our communities. Or use something else, maybe get creative with the reduce, reuse and recycle ethic. That’s a stylish move, isn’t it?