SQUID FRY 05.21.15: Door Prize…

DOOR PRIZE… Squid remembers when Rosco P. Coltrane, Squid’s beloved mess of an English bulldog, was just a pup. There was exhausting obedience training mixed with lots of positive reinforcement, all so Rosco could grow up to be the fine dog he is today. Squid wonders if that’s what veteran Monterey County Deputy District Attorney David Rabow had in mind during recent dealings with neophyte prosecutor Aaron Brown. Seems that sometime last month, Brown was in Rabow’s office, nipping at his heels over an issue while Rabow just wanted to be left alone. Sources tell Squid Rabow asked Brown to leave, but when he refused, Rabow used his office door to make physical contact with Brown and get him out of his space. In many workplaces, this might be considered assault. In the freewheeling world of Monterey County government employment, it’s just another day at the office.

Rabow and Brown didn’t respond to requests for comment. Meanwhile, Chief Assistant Deputy District Attorney Berkley Brannon called the Rabow-Brown kerfuffle a personnel issue. If Rabow’s name seems familiar, that’s because in March, he sought (and got) a restraining order against retired sheriff’s Deputy Bob Empasis, who believed Rabow had been mucking around in his marriage. When that one happened, Brannon called it a personal issue. Squid notices a trend here – and the words “Rabow” and “issue” run through it.

HEARTS AND WALLETS… Squid didn’t have to wait for the Mad Men series finale to guess the ending. Squid figured Esalen Institute would come into play almost a year ago, when Squid gave John Hamm and Matthew Weiner an eight-tentacled massage above the center’s hot springs.

OK, so the crew didn’t exactly film at Esalen. Institute president Gordon Wheeler told reporters Esalen said uh-uh, so the show landed instead at Anderson Canyon, a private property just north. Squid’s seen couples say their vows at the very spot where Hamm’s character, Don Draper, intoned the show’s closing “om” and came up with the real-life 1971 Coke commercial featuring good-looking multinational youth singing of peace, love and capitalism on an Italian mountaintop.

Squid can’t help but admire Don’s lucrative ability to sense Americans’ deepest unmet needs of the times, then manipulate them to sell products. And Squid can’t help but note Esalen, now 52 years deep, does the same thing. Need to relax? Build self-confidence? Be a part of something bigger than your day-to-day hamster-wheel existence? Week-long workshops run $900-$4,975 per person.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Squid’s a capitalist, too. And Squid meditates daily, in Squid’s own way. But instead of “om,” Squid says “nom.” As in, more shrimp popcorn, please. Game of Thrones is on next.