SQUID FRY 04.09.15: Ice Princes…

ICE PRINCES… When the California drought makes Squid thirsty, Squid turns on Frozen. Watching Queen Elsa get all diva making her fabulous ice palace makes Squid wish Squid had snow creation powers. Just think of all the money Squid could make as Cal Am’s new water supplier!

Instead we’re left with Cal Am, DeepWater Desal, The People’s Project and Marina Coast Water District racing to turn saltwater into drinking water. One of these characters does indeed seem to have Elsa-like powers – but instead of ice, Marina Coast turns everything into… well, “compost” is a kinder word for it.

The Regional Desalination Project? Marina Coast had a heavy hand in killing it while losing $18 million in the process. The tiny desal plant Marina Coast built in the 1990s? Obsolete. Marina Coast’s relations with other water agencies? Soured by lawsuits.

Squid cringes to learn the Marina Coast board has appointed its two most bombastic members, Peter Le and Howard Gustafson, to what they hope will become the Groundwater Sustainability Agency, tasked with bringing the overdrafted Salinas Basin into balance.

The Marina Coast board censured Gustafson last October for calling Le names, including a “reject” with “stupid ideas.” Six weeks later, the board considered censuring Le (again) for allegedly yelling “Shut up!” at then-Interim General Manager Brian Lee during a meeting.

Now that Le and Gustafson have apparently joined forces – “You can call us the Odd Couple,” Le says – Squid shudders to imagine the damage their tantrums could do to the GSA.

PUSH ME, POLL YOU… Squid was watching Dancing With the Stars when the phone rang. Squid answered and was transported to a magical land where there is no time or logic. Even though it’s only April 2015, Squid was transported to Electionland.

A political “pollster” from Portland wanted to discuss Monterey County Board of Supervisor’s District 4 seat. And the pollster wanted to know how Squid felt about District 4 Supe Jane Parker.

“How do you feel,” the pollster asked, “about an elected official who doesn’t work well with colleagues?”

While we’re asking misleading questions, why leave out her apparent challengers, Seaside Mayor Ralph Rubio and former Salinas Mayor Dennis Donohue? “How do you feel about an elected official who doesn’t wear an undershirt under his dress shirts?” and “How do you feel about an elected official who sits on the dais with a look of disapproval and chides people who don’t agree with him?”

Squid called Parker and asked: Isn’t it early for this?

“This is early,” Parker says, “ but when there are people who want to unseat an incumbent, they have to start early. Especially a relatively popular incumbent.” Zing.