SQUID FRY 03.17.16 - Guns and Money…

GUNS AND MONEY… Squid loves oozing through Oldtown Salinas to see where various decision-makers eat. Attorneys caffeinating at the Cherry Bean, Big Ag bigwigs imbibing at Giorgio’s, police chiefs chowing down at Growers Pub.

Sheriff Steve Bernal asked County Supervisor Fernando Armenta to lunch last week to lobby him against a county hiring freeze. (“I’m more of a farmworkers pub kind of guy,” Armenta says. “When I walked in [Growers Pub] with the sheriff, everyone’s eyes went big.”)

What interested Squid even more was watching Armenta’s eyes go big at a March 14 meeting of the county legislative committee when the discussion turned to medical marijuana. Bernal had already delivered a doozy of a revelation over lunch: “What’s really troubling is, and I didn’t realize, it’s all a cash business,” Armenta says of their discussion. “It’s potentially riddled with gang activity, cartel activity. Cash, man – that’s a little bit scary for me. I’m concerned.”

Laurie Johnson of JEA & Associates updated the legislative committee on news from Sacramento on several topics, including cannabis. Banks, abiding by federal rules, are scared to touch MMJ money with a 10-foot pole because marijuana is still a schedule 1 drug under federal rules. “The Board of Equalization is incredibly concerned,” Johnson said. “They’re having dispensaries come in with $150,000 in cash and just drop it off. The governor is appealing to the feds to look into this further.”

While that’s happening, Squid imagines Bernal quietly instilling fear into all the county supes before they proceed with legal pot. At least that’s the stereotypical role for a sheriff. As for the BOE? Johnson reports they’re investigating bitcoins. Which makes Squid wonder, what are they smoking?

MALINUS MAXIMUS… Once again, Squid spent the better part of the weekend holed up in the lair, reading prose from Squid’s new favorite author, Seaside City ManagerCraig Malin. As Squid noted in a March 7 column, Malin has been publishing “manifests” on the city’s website that are filled with both useful info and self-deprecating wit.

Over the weekend, Squid was reading an altogether different work of art: a “field guide” to Malin’s office. In it, Malin offers taxonomic descriptions of items in his office broken down like so: name, description, habitat, range, notes. Each item is also given an alternate Latin-ish name. “Skateboard (Longboardus road rashus). Description: 36” laminated bamboo emergency room entry device. Habitat: Sidewalks, streets, bike paths. Range: 0 to 6% slopes. Notes: Tricks limited to being 53 years old and still skating.”

Squid has no idea how Malin – whom, when not writing, has brought sweeping changes to City Hall in just two months – finds the time. But if he wants to spell Squid for two weeks so Squid can take a vacation, he’s hired.