Squid awards honors to all Peninsula cities, then cries "sex molester" to get TAMC attention.

SquidsList… When Squid learned this week CNN put Pacific Grove on a list of “Best U.S. Seaside Escapes,” Squid wondered if these local accolades are ever going to end. Recently, we’ve hadSalinas named an “All-America City,” Monterey a “Happiest Seaside Town” and Carmel made the list of “World’s Best Cities for Romance.”

Squid hopes they keep on coming, but thinks other Peninsula cities should be getting some recognition, too.

Marina could compete for “Best Cities to Film the Zombie Apocalypse,” with its blighted Fort Ord structures along the beach and in the city, and so many strip malls zombies wouldn’t know where to look. Plus, nobody would mind if a lot of the blight blew up. The New York Times, which does a “36 Hours in… ” travel series, would do well to mix it up with “15 minutes in Sand City.”

If Buzzfeed makes a listicle of “Best Parks to Find a Dead Body In,” Laguna Grande might get top billng – and bring a morbid new kind of tourism to Seaside. Added perks: Laguna visitors will soon be able to birdwatch and stop at In-N-Out on the trail loop. Even better: They could do it after visiting the Monterey Bay Alternative Medicine dispensary in Del Rey Oaks, which really needs to be on an Architectural Digest list of “Best Interiors of Ugly Beige Buildings.”

My Way or the Highway… With a holiday weekend coming up, Squid is stockpiling the lair with necessities: shrimp for the barbie, historical fiction set during the American Revolution and safe-and-sane fireworks. Squid needs to stock up, because Squid won’t go out in traffic during July Fourth festivities, when Highway 156 tends to crawl slower than a sea star.

The Transportation Agency for Monterey County (TAMC) has noted the traffic problem, and three years ago, proposed a $268 million project to widen the road. TAMC officials proposed tolling drivers to pay for it, based on the results of a 2013 study. So Squid was puzzled to see the TAMC board on June 24 approve yet another study – this one for $30,000. North County Supervisor John Phillips, who advocated for this latest study, says TAMC needs more data to appease his constituents.

“People in North County are strongly against any talk of a toll road, but the bottom line is, we’ve got to do something,” Phillips tells Squid. “There’s no way I can convince folks until we have the facts to present. [Saying ‘toll road’] is like saying ‘sex molester’ to people out here; it’s a very instant reaction.”

TAMC will use the data from this next report for, yes, yet another study, estimated at $400,000, to be completed by mid-2016. At this rate, Squid is going to start stockpiling as if someone yelled “sex molester” outside the lair; it looks like Squid will be staying indoors for the long haul.