Squid 05.14.26

Tripping Hazard… Although Squid loves to take Squid’s trusty mutt, Roscoe P. Coltrane, with Squid wherever Squid goes, Squid knows there are limits, like certain outdoor trails, the grocery store or a restaurant – unless, of course, it is a trained service animal. Squid has heard that humans sometimes claim their pets are service animals to take them somewhere, but lying to the waitstaff at a sit-down restaurant about the service status of a dog? Even Roscoe’s doting wouldn’t fool Squid.

However, Squid wasn’t surprised to read in a lawsuit filed on May 12 in Monterey County Superior Court that the owners of a dachshund-pomeranian mix allegedly lied to a server at Rosine’s in Monterey about their diminutive companion, claiming it was a therapy dog. The waiter took their word for it and let the altogether untrained canine inside the restaurant, where it stayed mostly concealed under the table. As a member of the waitstaff passed by, hands full, he accidentally stepped on the creature, which yelped, scaring the server, causing him to fall and seriously injure his ankle, the server alleges in his case. The couple callously continued to dine, even feeding the living tripping hazard after the incident.

The waiter is suing the dog parents for loss of wages, hospital and medical expenses, loss of earning capacity and general damage associated with the incident, which, by the way, is a misdemeanor if true.

Down the Drain… In the sea, there are no water bills or sewer bills – hell, there’s no tap water or sewer system, it’s all just one big salty, poopy mix. For humans on land, there are separate pipes for everything, and it’s all expensive to maintain. So Monterey One Water is seeking increases in wastewater rates, with a public hearing scheduled for June 29.

The proposed rate list shows what people would pay per month each year through 2030, with gradual increases for different types of uses. A residential apartment would go from $54/month to $79.37, for example; a bar would increase from $79.80 to $115.42. An animal hospital (which Squid hopes to avoid) would go from $89.75 today to $129.21.

Some increases are a little more aggressive – like a spike for laundromats from $28.85 to $42.36 per washing machine – and some more random. A theater’s rate would go from $109.55 to $157.27 per screen, even though whenever Squid goes to the movies these days, the seats are mostly empty. Nightclubs would be hit with a whopping increase from $238.40 to $342.41 (are dancers drinking too much light beer?). A bowling center would go from $332.60 to $475.05 (not per pin, as far as Squid can tell).

The whole left Squid confused. Is Squid a printer (due to all that ink) or an office worker? Most importantly, does Squid have to pay extra for ink?