Shooting Blanks

SHOOTING BLANKS… Squid’s never owned a firearm – cephalopods evolved with all the weapons they need, Squid’s favorite being ink. While Squid thinks there are sensible, constitutional federal laws that could be passed banning certain types of guns, Squid gets there’s the Second Amendment and whatnot, so there’s only so much that can be done. Same goes for gun vendors, as a Monterey neighborhood is learning.

In Oak Grove, east of Lake El Estero, there is consternation that a gun shop is opening in the largely residential neighborhood on the southeast corner of 3rd Street and Ocean Avenue. A handful of residents spoke up at a Monterey City Council meeting on Feb. 4 voicing their discontent, arguing it wasn’t an appropriate fit for the quiet, family-friendly neighborhood. On Feb. 8, a resident started a change.org petition calling for the prevention of the gun shop, with 153 signatures as of press time.

However, the business – L&B Firearm Solutions – already got a permit from the city late last year. Retail businesses, gun shops included, are allowed in places zoned for commercial use, and that corner lot is zoned for commercial use. It’s not something anyone votes on, just a ministerial stamp of approval.

So unfortunately for concerned residents, resistance is futile.

MANSION MADNESS… Squid’s neighbor Henry the Hermit Crab recently asked the neighborhood for help in his quest to take over an ancient nautilus shell under the guise of historic restoration – the neighbors’ response was a collective eyeroll.

Carmel neighbors are beyond eyerolls and are up in arms over a proposal by videographer Mike Buffo to restore Flanders Mansion, a 100-year-old Tudor home owned by the city and located inside Mission Trail Nature Preserve. His proposal would install his family as caretakers through the nonprofit Carmel Outlands at Flanders Mansion, while also maintaining his commercial videography business. Renovations would be financed through fundraising, grants and ticketed events for up to 99 people. Buffo presents it as a win for the city and community.

At a Carmel City Council meeting on Feb. 4, neighbors and leaders of the nonprofit Friends of Mission Trail Nature Preserve announced not one but two new groups proposing to take over the mansion. They scoffed at Buffo’s contention that his activities would be “low-impact.” One man called the events “Gatsby-like parties,” while someone else argued his proposal was self-serving. Leaders of the two groups promised that if given the nod they will use the mansion for the good of the nature preserve only – no big events.

Henry never got that nautilus shell. Squid thinks Buffo’s chances of occupying Flanders Mansion are similarly slim to none.