No Show Time

No Show Time… Squid oozed down to Seaside City Hall on Tuesday, May 14 with a bucket of shrimp-flavored popcorn, curious to see a hearing for deposed City Manager Jaime Fontes, whom the City Council had placed on paid administrative leave April 18.

The hearing was called pursuant to Seaside’s city code, which allows a city manager, if they receive notice of the council’s intent to remove them, to request a hearing within seven days. Fontes submitted his request, handwritten, on April 25, the last day of the deadline.

Promised to be interesting, Squid thought – Squid’s been trying to sort out what, exactly, happened inside City Hall that led to his removal (and that of others). And Squid has never seen a hearing like this before.

Unfortunately, that’s still true: Fontes was a no-show. Everyone sat around for about five minutes until Mayor Ian Oglesby adjourned.

It’s the latest twist in the drama that’s been rocking City Hall lately, and it made Squid wonder: Why would Fontes request a hearing and not show up? Perhaps there was a legitimate reason he couldn’t make it. Or did Fontes just want to give a middle finger to the council, forcing them to waste time? Most likely, Squid thinks, is that if Fontes wants to later sue the city, he might want to show he at least requested a hearing.

In any case, Squid oozed out of City Hall with the popcorn untouched.

Globe (Not) Trotting… Squid has not traveled the world, except vicariously through TV shows, either through the foodie likes of Anthony Bourdain (RIP), or Stanley Tucci, or the more recent comedic stylings of Conan O’Brien or Eugene Levy. Speaking of comedy, Squid got some big laughs out of a recent See Monterey press release, “Explore the World Through Monterey County,” although Squid gets the feeling that’s not what the visitors’ bureau was going for.

The announcement encourages people to skip foreign travel in favor of exploring right here around Squid’s lair, with such entreaties as: “Pass on Provence, Come to Carmel Valley” and “Skip St. Andrews in Scotland, Try Pebble Beach.” Somehow Salinas Valley is a substitute for Ireland, although it’s not well explained. It’s green – for about a month?

If Squid had an eyebrow to raise, Squid would have at the suggestion to “Miss Morocco. Make it to Marina.” How does Marina compare to Morocco? Supposedly Marina’s sand dunes – “the highest on the Central Coast” – are comparable to the vast dunes of the Sahara. The press release concedes that there is no “dupe” for Big Sur; it’s unique.

Maybe if Squid squints really hard these locations will look like foreign locales. Maybe. But more than likely they look like what they are: beautiful Monterey County.