No Backsies

NO BACKSIES… Grannie Squid taught Squid many valuable lessons, including the importance of staying true to your word. It was with considerable side-eye that Squid watched the Monterey City Council meeting on Feb. 6, when City Manager Hans Uslar recommended a 180-day pause on the city’s retail cannabis ordinance, less than two months after approval by the Monterey City Council.

Between Dec. 15, when the ordinance was adopted, and Jan. 29, the city accepted applications from cannabis retailers – 13 in all for only four allowed stores. Despite no previous dire predictions by staff of cannabis-related calamities, Uslar was suddenly sounding alarm bells due to increasing incidents of bands of robbers invading cannabis businesses in the region since 2023, including the fatal shooting of an Oakland Police officer on Dec. 29. In addition, Uslar outlined how the industry has imploded economically, resulting in less tax revenue than cities and counties had estimated.

Kevin Dayton, representing the Monterey Peninsula Chamber of Commerce, called reneging on the applications “abusive,” and warned other businesses may stay away as a result. The council voted 3-2 against a pause.

Squid has no seahorse in the cannabis race, but sending 13 willing businesses packing after already being told they may get the keys to a spot seems like, in the words of ‘70s rock group Brewer & Shipley, one toke over the line.

PLAN F… Squid loves a good bank robbery movie, in part because Squid enjoys the often elaborate plans to get in and out of the bank quickly and then get away scot-free to some tropical locale, or perhaps just a motel room in flyover country. Squid’s seen many such movies, and one way they vary is the amount of cash in the haul, and whether it’s the last big score.

That said, Squid’s never seen a movie in which that score might not even be enough to cover a month’s rent. Such was the case with Michael Todd Haley, who allegedly walked into Mechanics Bank in Salinas on Feb. 5 and stole $1,800. As alleged, it was not an elaborate plan, as Salinas PD checked the camera footage and found the white vehicle Haley escaped in. Further investigation linked the same vehicle to another robbery that happened two days before in Gilroy. Haley has a long criminal history that includes robbery arrests in Perris, Milpitas, Monterey and Salinas from 2009-2013.

If Haley is convicted for this latest string of robberies, Squid recommends he take up a more lucrative and legal trade the next time he’s free. If not, he should at least binge watch some crime capers when he’s sprung and draw some creative inspiration from Hollywood.