Naughty Or Nice

Naughty or Nice… ’Twas the night before Squidmas, and all through Squid’s lair, neighbors were scrambling to find the perfect pieces of seaweed to wrap gifts. Squid decided to ooze around with gifts for landlubbers, dropping them down various chimneys.

For Sheriff Tina Nieto, Squid gives a radar detector for her personal vehicle, so she doesn’t get pulled over for speeding yet again by those pesky California Highway Patrol officers in South County. (Was three times in 2024 the charm?) To Monterey County Supervisor Mary Adams, who is retiring, Squid gives the gift of a vacation in a short-term rental – something that Adams never succeeded in banning, even if she did finally help get a sorta-kinda-in-between ordinance over the finish line.

For Amazon representatives, Squid gifts a satellite with a camera, so they can view construction of one of their largest warehouses in the world in Salinas from space.

To Carmel residents who refuse to accept street addresses: A pair of airport traffic batons to direct Amazon delivery drivers and first responders to their houses. For the City of Seaside, Squid gives a city manager who does the job and sticks around.

To hospital executives at Montage Health, Salinas Valley Health and Natividad, Squid gives squishy stress balls to hold onto next year as the California Office of Health Care Affordability continues its investigation into the hospitals’ high prices. A knock on the door from the California Attorney General’s Office might be in their future.

For CSU Monterey Bay, Squid gifts a buyer for the National Steinbeck Center – which has been on the market for two-plus years.

For Marina shoppers, Squid offers rides in Squid’s jalopy to shuttle people to and from the newest Trader Joe’s store, which, as expected, has a parking lot too small for demand.

Squid gives a gold star to all the good people who rushed to the aid of 96-year-old Jean Jacques, who faced a three-day eviction notice from Pacifica Pacific Grove but thanks to their efforts is now secure in her apartment for the rest of her life. (A lump of coal goes to the Pacifica Senior Living executives who served the notice, despite Jacques having a contract for her care under the former owners.)

For all those who fought hard for the SURF! busway, Squid gives a stocking full of bus fare and books. Squid hopes you enjoy a lot of rides on the six-mile, $105 million project along Highway 1; that’s $17.5 million per mile, and a lot of time to read.

As an invertebrate, Squid relates to U.S. Rep. Jimmy Panetta, but Squid gives him a spine to stand up to Democratic leaders, when it’s called for. It’s going to be a rough four years in Washington, so Squid gives Panetta and U.S. Rep. Zoe Lofgren each a mini zen garden to help get through them.