Merry Squidmas

MERRY SQUIDMAS… The holidays are always one of Squid’s favorite times of the year, because people come together and celebrate. One thing they’re celebrating, whether or not they know it, is the return of longer days – Christmas is a made-up birthday party rooted in pagan tradition. Squid also loves this time of year because Squid gets to give and receive gifts.

To Monterey County Supervisor Luis Alejo, who on Dec. 14 touted an endorsement from the Monterey County Deputy Sheriff’s Association in his re-election campaign for District 1: Permission to not run a campaign when no one is opposing him. Wait, that might be a gift for all of us.

For the Marina City Council, Squid offers an hourglass, stopwatch and an alarm bell to ring violently any time someone on the dais starts falling in love with the sound of their own voice – the public shouldn’t have to stay up until midnight in order to keep up with city business.

For Soledad Mayor Anna Velazquez, Squid gives wishes for good luck – she’s been battling an effort to force her off the council through the thinly disguised veil of a redistricting process. (The city’s voters will weigh in on March 5.) For Salinas City Council, Squid hopes 2024 brings the ability to get along.

For Pacific Grove City Councilmember Luke Coletti – who seems not to be content with having run former city manager Ben Harvey out of a job, and who introduced an ordinance to allow councilmembers to pester line-level city staffers for information – Squid gives the gift of a hobby. Maybe he’ll take up dancing – for Pagrovians in general, Squid gifts a little fun; maybe when Pop and Hiss opens, they’ll go out on the town.

For California American Water, Squid offers a graceful exit, although Squid fully expects the utility to do anything but. With a pending eminent domain lawsuit by the Monterey Peninsula Water Management District, Squid instead expects to see the company pay lawyers millions to fight to hold onto its Monterey water system.

For members of Congress Zoe Lofgren and Jimmy Panetta, Squid gives the theoretical gift of a functioning legislative body.

For the people of Pajaro, Squid gives the decades-awaited levee work that the Army Corps of Engineers has known about since 1966. For those who are in custody at Monterey County Jail, Squid hopes this year brings improvements – are they gifts if they are court-mandated improvements? – that save lives. And for all of us, Squid gives the gift of a Monterey County Sheriff’s Oversight Board, because more transparency and accountability is good for everyone.

Squid is lucky that Squid gets 10 stockings, one for each appendage, so even if you want to give Squid a lump of coal, there’s sure to be something sweet in Squid’s own gift pile this year.