Extra Helping of Squid 2.10.2014

Total Recon…Squid always figured Squid's unkempt home, with its antiquated porch and outdated fixtures, was embarrassing. But at least they saved Squid money that Squid has allocated for bookies and manicures.

Then history came and got in the way. (With an assist from Squid’s old friend and nemesis, government code.) Apparently every city in a group distinguished by preservation (and the vanilla name “certified local government”) is required by state law to determine if properties within its limits are historic.

The City of Monterey even scored a $25,000 grant for, as its website reads, “the preparation of a Historic Survey and Context Statement for the New Monterey commercial and residential neighborhoods,” which includes cruising neighborhoods on the look out for old homes.

Or as Senior Associate City Planner Christy Hopper describes it, “a phase 1 windshield survey.”

The requirements to make what the city is calling the Historic Reconnaissance List are simple: The house needs to be 50 years old, have little done to it—sounds not just like Squid's hovel, but Squidself—and enjoy some architectural panache.

City staffers have surveyed 1,752 properties in New Monterey and flagged 360 as potentially historic.

Since Squid got flagged, should Squid want to finally modify the house—you know, add an actual window to the front facade—there would be an "intensive survey" to more deeply explore its history, and any changes to its look would be subject to historic review, in addition to normal architectural review processes.

Which, yes, means more officials and the fees that seem to follow them.

The other option: Get off the list.

Should Squid want Squid’s house removed from the list, according to a letter to one Monterey resident signed by Hopper, that requires evidence by a qualified architectural history professional.

The price for that: hundreds more. One professional quoted $750. Plus likely appearances before City Council.

So, to review: Squid’s den gets tagged potentially historic, Squid can pay extra to get overdue changes approved, or pay extra to get off the list.

As Squid approaches the garbage disposal, beak first, Hopper makes some comforting points: This is scaring peeps like Squid who think their homes are getting tagged historic, when it’s actually saving the vast majority from getting a historical survey if and when they update. Some 1,400-plus residents can continue with normal permitting without a preservationist checkup. The historic review happens anyway, this just narrows who actually merits one should they be needed.

For Squid’s part, Squid’s going to go on making more history, and let his home continue to fall apart.