East of Garrison…

EAST OF GARRISON… Squid went hunting for some outdoor rec opportunities earlier this week – a court where Squid could show off some mad handball skills, or shoot hoops with friends. But when Squid oozed on to the new basketball court at East Garrison to play a little three-on-three, things started bouncing in a seriously weird way.

See, Squid’s underwater lair isn’t part of the East Garrison Homeowners Association. (It’s an affordable-housing lair, to be honest.) And some HOA members found Squid’s presence in their private, HOA-members-only park upsetting.

According to an East Garrison thread on the message board NextDoor.com, neighbors don’t like outsiders – especially not ones from nearby low-income housing – using the facilities. One resident describes a situation from early October: “These young men were not children… they were intimidating and drove up in two cars… sagging pants, thuggish looking, long hair… not members of this community.” The men, the resident said, were trespassing on clearly marked members-only territory.

Another East Garrison resident chimed in that as long as Marina allows low-income housing nearby, the community would just have to deal with outsiders on the court.

Squid’s basketball shorts sometimes sag, and Squid’s lush mane could use a trim. When Squid takes an elbow to the midsection while driving to the hoop, sometimes Squid utters an expletive. But Squid hopes nobody considers Squid a thug based on those things – or for being low-income, either.

SMOKE OUT… Squid’s pretty much a live-and-let-live kind of cephalopod, and doesn’t get too worked up about choices other people make in their pursuit of happiness. Squid just chalks it up as the price of living in a diverse world filled with aggravating humans.

The greater citizenry of Carmel, however, feels differently. In the quaint city famous for banning high heels and ice cream cones, the ban wagon is back. This past summer saw the year-long extension of a moratorium on artificial turf, then a moratorium on beach fires, which later led to an outright ban on weekend fires. Now, Carmel is ready to kick to the curb one of the most maligned sub-populations in California: smokers.

Carmel City Council voted unanimously Oct. 6 to direct City Attorney Don Freeman to craft an ordinance that might be the strictest in the nation – smoking will only be allowed in hotel rooms or in single-family neighborhoods. Vaping, smoking pot and chewing tobacco will likewise be banned. But why stop there, Carmel? Why not ban outdoor barbecues? Or emissions-spewing classic cars? Or cozy fires inside cottages? The war against smoke is not won yet, Carmel. Squid also wonders, what’s next?

Watch out, fun, you might be in the crosshairs.