Divide and Conquer

DIVIDE AND CONQUER… Squid’s friend Mollie Mola gave Squid a bag of off-brand shrimp-flavored popcorn for Christmas, but Squid isn’t one to look a gift-seahorse in the mouth, an old saying meaning you should be grateful instead of critical of any gift, regardless of its flaws. That being said, Squid counts as fair game political ploys masquerading as gifts.

During President Donald Trump’s address to the nation on Dec. 17, he boasted about a gift to 1.45 million members of the military just in time for Christmas, a $1,776 “warrior’s dividend.” The amount was designed to commemorate the 250 years the military has been defending the country since 1776. Trump claimed the money was coming largely from tariffs because “we made a lot more money than anybody thought,” he said.

Nice try to deflect from bad poll numbers and the release of the Epstein files, but in reality the estimated $2.6 billion in warrior dividends is coming from money service members would have received anyway, from funds approved by Congress in Trump’s “One Big Beautiful Bill” as a one-time housing allowance supplement. (Trump briefly acknowledged the bill “helped us along.”)

As for the tariffs, one estimate puts the amount collected through September at $179 billion, 9.6 percent of the estimated deficit for 2025 of $1.9 trillion. Winning!

GOTAWAY CAR… Squid’s 10 stockings were filled with mostly edible treats this Christmas – lots of shrimp-flavored popcorn. A quick ooze over to small claims court shows it was not such a merry holiday for everyone – Maria Clara Fidencio Ortega filed a suit in Monterey County Superior Court on Dec. 26 against Alfredo Yovani Huazo over a car sale that allegedly fell apart.

Ortega claims she paid $4,200 to Huazo, who was going to sell her a white Nissan. But then he said things changed and the vehicle was no longer available. Ortega went to his Salinas home to get her money. He sent someone else to give her back her money, but it was just $2,000. “We have sent him many messages but doesn’t answer,” she wrote. “We have also tried to call with different numbers but he just hangs up.” (Squid’s colleague also tried calling and got no answer, and a message saying no voicemail was set up.)

Squid’s colleague checked with Salinas PD, which has no record of a criminal complaint. “When it comes to someone alleging something and it’s a he-said, she-said situation, we tell them that’s civil, not criminal,” says Sgt. Zachary Dunagan. “We can’t take one person’s word over another.”

Whether a judge does take Ortega’s word remains to be seen. So too does the white Nissan, the car that got away.