Adults Only

ADULTS ONLY… Government meetings are typically reserved for adults, and not because it’s a requirement, but who under the age of 18 is eager to spend their night listening to the excitement of city ordinances and budget appropriations?

Squid attends countless meetings across Monterey County, and they are generally welcoming to all ages. But recent Seaside Planning Commission meetings have been R-rated affairs.

In December, the commission revoked the licenses of two massage parlors on Broadway, Sunny Spa and Perfect Spa, after they reportedly violated terms of their agreements, mainly by offering sexual services.

Squid’s beak fell open when Squid dug deeper into the Dec. 13 planning commission documents, which included an extremely detailed report by a Seaside Police officer who went undercover seeking special, but prohibited, services as part of an investigation.

The report reads like poorly written erotic fiction, such as this line: “She looked at him and gestured with her hands as if she was holding a cylindrical object and moved her hand up and down.”

On March 13, the commission agreed to let two new massage businesses move into the empty spots. While Squid is glad to see two fewer vacant storefronts, Squid couldn’t help but squirm as one of the new owners spoke during the meeting, as translated from Mandarin: “I have the confidence to satisfy all the customers.”

Squid hopes for a happy ending to this story, and not the kind the previous businesses were offering.

LOW BAR… Squid oozes around the local bar scene and has seen a belligerent customer or three. So too has Robin Boyd, food and beverage manager at the Monterey Elks Lodge #1285, per court papers filed seeking a restraining order against one very belligerent and even threatening regular.

According to Boyd’s account, the man showed up at the Lodge on Feb. 14, a dinner night, meaning no alcohol – news that the customer did not want to hear, escalating an argument with Boyd and suggesting they take it outside. “Having been in this industry for a while, I am accustomed to dealing with belligerent patrons and calling their bluff for wanting to ‘take it outside’ is generally an effective way to deescalate the situation,” Boyd wrote. “However, respondent did not back down.” Monterey PD was called.

The customer – who used to come to the bar once or twice a week – started coming daily, ordering water only, and staring Boyd down. That prompted the Elks Lodge to file for a restraining order on March 4, with a hearing in Monterey County Superior Court on March 26. Squid will be curious to see whether the Elks Lodge – full name the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks – gets an official protective order or not.