Squid wonders why a school board candidate got a "shampoe" and blow dry, courtesy of dirty tricksters.

Hide and Seek…With Squid’s keen sense of direction, all-seeing eye and multiple tentacles for flipping things over, Squid excels at finding things. Car keys, loose change and iPhones jammed into sofa cushions stand no chance against the power of Squid’s seeking. A misplaced expense check for a night out shmoozing California-American Water executives (Squid jammed the last one in the pages of the annual power cephalopod issue of Vanity Fair) took only seconds before Squid had it in tentacle and on its way into Squid’s dwindling checking account.

But the one thing Squid can’t seem to find, no matter how hard Squid tries, is a Salinas resident who goes by the name Jack Shampoe and seems hell-bent on destroying not only the candidacy of Salinas Union High School District board trustee Kathryn Ramirez, but her nascent teaching career as well.

On Sept. 9, Shampoe sent a letter to Rupi K. Boyd, the superintendent of the Soledad School District; Alice Flores, CSU Monterey Bay professor and regional director of the online teacher credentialing program CalStateTEACH; preternaturally tall KSBW reporter Felix Cortez; and adorable Californian education reporter Roberto Robledo. In the letter, Shampoe claimed Ramirez, who had an internship credential through CalStateTeach and taught in the Soledad district, used photos of her students on her Facebook page to promote her SUHSD candidacy.

And that, friends, would be a serious violation of the rules and could get her internship credential yanked.

“I am bringing this to the attention of her employer, her CalStateTEACH program, her and the news media to ensure something is done about this abuse of student photos for political purposes,” Shampoe’s letter reads.

But there are a few problems with Shampoe’s premise. First, the kids featured in the Ramirez picture were all children of personal friends, and not her students. Second, the photo was staged and shot by a professional photographer for use in her campaign.

And third? Well, Shampoe doesn’t seem to exist. Squid looked. Squid used all sorts of professional detecting tricks, and nada. No Shampoe. Not in Salinas, where the writer claims to be a resident, and not anywhere else in the country.

Squid reached out to Flores to see how CalStateTEACH planned to handle this faux complaint, but didn’t get a call back in time for Squid’s deadline. Meanwhile, Squid has a question about a sign put up on the fence at a school sports field by Ramirez opponent John “Tony” Villegas, an Alisal Union School District sports program supervisor and that question is this: Isn’t it illegal to put campaign signs on school grounds?

Give Squid a call, John. Squid can help you find the answer.