Squid barks and howls with the canine criminals of Carmel.

Dog Days…The howling wind kept Squid locked up in the lair all weekend, daydreaming about whether Squid could survive in a landlocked state and scuttle over to Iowa and register to vote and participate in caucus day. (Squid’s deeply thought-out answer: nope.)

Squid had initially planned on a day in charming Carmel, with a beach stroll by the sea when the wind kicked in. But then Squid started perusing the weekly Carmel Police Department log and came across a Jan. 24 report for “menacing behavior” on Fourth and Lincoln, and Squid had second thoughts: Maybe facing down the throngs of Donald Trump and Ted Cruz supporters would be safer for this cephalopod than a walk in Carmel.

But then Squid read on and saw that it was just a couple of Carmel’s proud mascots getting feisty. Per the police report: “I responded to a report of two dogs in a parked vehicle with the windows open. The windows were open enough for the dogs to menace a person walking past vehicle. This person was not bitten by the dog, however extremely frightened by the barking, growling and full head portion of the dog.”

There’s a default method for addressing this kind of dog problem: the cone of shame. Yes, police deployed a cone—in this case, an orange warning cone—along with caution tape to warn pedestrians.

Maybe Squid will take the long walk around downtown Carmel when the wind dies down tonight for a stroll on Carmel Beach, and hunker down for a beach fire while waiting for the Iowa caucus results to roll in. Unless and until City Council does a second reading of its ordinance declaring beach fires a public nuisance, the old rule—a moratorium on fires on weekends and Friday nights—still stands until August, while Carmel deliberates, perhaps, over more serious problems of public safety, like mean-looking dogs barking through a car window.

Monday night beach fires, anyone? Just watch out for ferocious dogs on the way.