Talking double standards and sexual harassment over donuts.

“There is some irony in the fact that I am leaving while a man who has bragged on tape of his history of sexual assault sits in the Oval Office. And a man who repeatedly preyed on young girls campaigns for the Senate with the full support of his party.” -Al Franken, D-Minnesota, on the announcement of his pending resignation from the U.S. Senate.

It’s the morning of Nov. 9, 2016. I have a Valium hangover from the night before, because as the numbers came in and what was about to happen to us all became clear, I turned to a guest at my election night party and barked, “Sedatives, stat!” Then my phone rings.

It’s local GOP henchman Paul Bruno, an elected member of the Monterey County Republican Central Committee. Calling, I presumed, to gloat just a little bit. And maybe he was, just a little bit. But he also asked that I not flee the country because they need our tax revenue.

Oh that Paul. Such a card.

Since the election, Bruno and I have chitter-chattered from time to time. He messages me to tell me I’m wrong, I message to tell him he’s wrong. We talk about travel. We go our separate ways until the next time.

And then, last week, the next time arrived.

Earlier this year I had declared my wish that Sen. Al Franken, D-Minnesota, run for president in 2020. It made sense. Franken is erudite and seemed blessed with abundant common sense. He wrote a book with one of the greatest titles in history, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. And for a guy who played the famously milquetoasty character Stuart Smalley on the screen, Franken proved himself to be a tough politician. As CNN political writer Julian Zelizer put it, “Facing a Republican Party that hits hard and often beneath the belt, Franken has shown repeatedly that he is willing to punch back.”

So in March I posted my wish on Facebook, and Bruno responded: “$1,000 that Al Franken is not our next president.”

I’m down for a friendly wager, but I’m not a gambler and I think much smaller than that, along the lines of $5 and a cup of coffee. Bruno came back with $500, a cup of coffee and a donut; I countered with $50 and a promise to consider the donut.

“If Al Franken wins, losing $50 is the least of my worries,” Bruno wrote me.

So it was that I found myself at Winchell’s on South Main Street in Salinas last Friday, trying to figure out what kind of donuts Republican henchmen most enjoy. Apple fritters? It’s not really a donut if it’s a fritter.

Bruno had reached out Dec. 7, in the wake of Franken’s announcement that he would resign his Senate seat following revelations he had groped or kissed seven women against their will over the course of his career, and offered to renegotiate the deal. Rather than $50 and a possible donut, he’d take $25 and skip the donuts altogether. I countered with $5 and donuts, delivered to Bruno’s office at Monterey Peninsula Engineering.

Into the box went three chocolate old fashioneds, three plain cake, three glazed and a chocolate coconut. To complete the dozen, I chose the most overwrought in the case: puffy yellow cake topped with electric blue frosting and multi-colored sprinkles. Then I drove to Marina.

For an avowed non-Republican, entering Bruno’s office is like entering the third circle of hell. GOP memorabilia abounds – a Donald Trump action figure; pictures of Bruno with various national political figures, including Mitt Romney (remember when Mitt Romney seemed like a bad idea? What I wouldn’t give for those days). He also has a section of Democratic memorabilia, including rolls of toilet paper emblazoned with Barack Obama’s face.

“So, Paul. What is your party going to do about Roy Moore?” I asked, referencing the (alleged) child predator who narrowly lost for Senate in Alabama on Dec. 12. The Democrats are cleaning their house – so what about the Republicans?

Bruno allowed that while Moore’s alleged behavior is “gross” and “disgusting,” it’s up to the voters of Alabama to handle Moore as they see fit. If that meant sending him to the Senate, so be it. (They didn’t, but nearly 50 percent did.)

For the record, Bruno went with the yellow donut with blue frosting and sprinkles.

MARY DUAN writes the Local Spin for the Weekly. Reach her at maryrduan@gmail.com.