How can we help people in need, even when we feel helpless?

As my life goes on as usual, it’s eerily easy to forget that Ukrainians are fighting a war for survival against Russian aggressors who invaded on a pretext of lies. Then I am reminded of the grim reality, and my mind follows a predictable cycle: I catch myself feeling fine while there is so much suffering somewhere else, and feel guilty – then remind myself that no amount of sulking will improve things for people in Ukraine, or anywhere. Then I am frustrated by feeling powerless – what can I possibly do to help? – and my frustration gets me down anew, until I move onto a new distraction and the cycle repeats again.

The most obvious way to help is to contribute money to the Ukrainian military or to address the growing humanitarian crisis; hundreds of Ukrainian civilians have been killed, and millions have fled their homes. In the digitally connected world, I’ve seen many calls to give cash aid directly, specifically the idea of booking an Airbnb in Ukraine (with no intent of checking in, obviously) but paying anyway. On March 2-3, Airbnb reported more than 61,000 nights were booked in Ukraine, grossing nearly $2 million.

I understand the desire to get money direct from your bank account to someone else’s, but if you want to contribute financially, I suggest giving to an established organization instead of an individual Airbnb host. There are a couple of reasons for that: One, most Ukrainians don’t have the resources to be Airbnb hosts – only a small sliver of the population is eligible to receive money this way. Two, there’s always some risk associated with giving cash, and disaster philanthropy routinely (sadly) attracts fraudsters.

“You may feel good, ‘I gave $1,000,’” says Dan Baldwin, president/CEO of the Community Foundation for Monterey County. “But what is your level of assuredness that you actually gave $1,000 to a family? I hate to sound cynical, but there are unfortunately so many instances of fraud, especially in the digital realm.”

The Community Foundation, based on recommendations from its national association of community foundations, suggests donating to one of these three relief groups: Razom (razomforukraine.org); GlobalGiving (globalgiving.org); the Center for Disaster Philanthropy (disasterphilanthropy.org).

There’s another piece of news this week that made me reflect on how to do something at home about a problem happening somewhere else. I’ve watched in horror as state legislatures roll back access to reproductive rights. Instead of just remaining in place where abortion is legal, California lawmakers are taking steps to proactively help the millions of women likely to seek health care here. State senators Anna Caballero, D-Merced, and Nancy Skinner, D-Berkeley, on March 8 introduced SB 1142, which would create a centralized statewide database of where abortion services are available, and also create a fund (that donors could give to) to help with associated expenses like travel and hotels.

“This is expecting the worst and setting up the infrastructure,” says Caballero (who informally represents Salinas through this year). “Providers in California have already seen an influx of women from other states. They’ve come confused, anxious and needing services.”

It’s a powerful instance of a problem happening somewhere else, in Republican-controlled states and at the U.S. Supreme Court – places that we have no influence over – but taking steps to do something within our power to ease the suffering.

I asked Caballero what us regular people can do in times like these, when there are so many crises. “Having just come off the coronavirus isolation, it just seems overwhelming,” she says. “We’ve felt helpless for two years.”

Part of it is to donate what you can, Caballero says. (I’ll add: Donate what feels comfortable, then a little more, whatever that amount is for you.)

The other piece of her advice is something that can serve us all in times of crisis, and always: “I think we just need to be kinder,” she says. “I’ve heard reports of retaliation against Russians who live in the U.S. Those individuals are not responsible for what Putin is doing.”

Caballero expects some unknown number of Ukrainian asylum seekers will land in California. Her invitation to us is to welcome them, with kindness, when they arrive.

SARA RUBIN is the Weekly’s editor. Email her at sara@mcweekly.com or follow her at twitter.com/sarahayelyrubin