We still can – and should – take steps to collectively process the pandemic and how it changed us.

My first semester at CSU Monterey Bay was one of the best times of my life. I made great friends during my Educational Opportunity Program’s Summer Bridge Program and even more once the semester started. One of my professors referred me to an internship at the campus’ Cross Cultural Center, where I still work today. I was able to maintain a balance between my social life and my academics. I was happy, thriving and on a journey of getting to know myself better.

Then came spring of 2020 – the pandemic. Almost two years later, in fall 2021, I returned to that same campus, the place I had fallen deeply in love with. Yet, the person I had begun to find there two years prior was gone. As I began to navigate this new version of the home I had begun to build but could never finish, I learned I couldn’t just pick up where I left off.

Reconnecting with old friends was harder than I imagined, especially when a common trend among them was commenting about how different I was. People said things like, “I can tell you’re a homebody now,” which I internalized as “you’re uninteresting and socially awkward.” Whether they meant it that way or not didn’t matter; that was what I believed. I became less confident in myself to the point that I wasn’t really sure of who I was at all. And since I had become more guarded and introverted, I didn’t really talk to anyone about how I was feeling. Instead, I tried to deal with these changes alone, wondering if other people also felt this way.

I assumed we would all be at least a little changed.

Because everyone experienced isolation and shutdowns, I assumed we all would be at least a little changed; the problem was no one talked about it. According to the National Institutes of Health, “rates of anxiety, depression and substance use disorder have increased since the beginning of the pandemic.” I believe that is because our society has not taken the steps to collectively process what we have been through.

What helped me most in navigating my internal journey was, to my surprise, a job. In summer 2022, I worked on a diversity, equity and inclusion initiative for the city manager’s office in Monterey. I felt like what I was doing mattered, and it gave me a sense of fulfillment.

After the internship was over I found myself slowly falling back into those old feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. But I now understand that the lessons I learned along the way will keep me afloat.

Remember that you don’t have to go it alone. Talking to friends and family, reaching out to counselors on campus or even forcing yourself to be out around other people can make a huge difference in easing the isolation.

And try not to get discouraged or give up on yourself. I found you sometimes have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable in order to transform into who you’re meant to be. A shift in perspective can go a long way.

NADIA PULU is a fourth-year humanities and communications major at CSUMB and is a member of EdSource’s California Student Journalism Corps. This story first appeared in EdSource, and can be viewed at edsource.org