Extra Helping of Squid: 5.5.14

Hip to Be Blob…Squid has never been hip.

Back at Tide Pool School, seems everything about juvenile Squid only isolated and embittered juvenile Squid more—the ink squirts and stains, the stinky fish lunches, the giant eyeballs, the aggressive tentacle waving and truth-telling in Ms. Hermit Crab’s class.

But now that it's cool to be uncool—being nerdy and unkempt and really into obscure things (like City Council meetings?!) is in—you would think that would make Squid pretty cool.

Finally.

Only still no.

Even though Squid would seem devoutly hipster, with allegiance to counter culture, indy rock, tight jeans and body hair, Squid still eats alone in the cafeteria.

Which speaks to how deeply unhip Squid is.

But Squid has new hope Squid has what it takes to be hip, or at least hipster.

Because Squid sees something in a response to the Weekly cover story last week, “The New Hipster Handbook,” from the hippest of the hipsters that Squid has in spades: righteous rage.

The spiciest fermented feedback came from normally mild mannered hipster chef Matt Millea.   

“WTF,” wrote Millea, the longtime Ventana and Sierra Mar chef, Happy Girl Kitchen pop-up dinner chef and current itinerant cook-for-hire. “Hipster Handbook? An after thought mention of Happy Girl Kitchen? Ace [Hardware] for mason jars? Whole Foods kimchi and kombucha? You ought to be ashamed.”

Yes, oh yes, Squid can do this hipster thing: WTF and shame are some of Squid’s most favored tools.

Millea continued.

“Lots of lost credibility in your covert and obsequious loyalty to your own corporate sponsors. You have a lot of ‘sand’ to criticize the Pine Cone for coddling the market they pander to. Safeway, too, for kimchi, really?”

Millea may have missed the reference to Happy Girl as “Monterey County’s ultimate hipster destination” or how often Safeway advertises (never), or the primary recommendation for kimchi (Hong’s Market in Marina) but that only excites Squid more. The only thing more fun than righteous rage is righteous rage with a loose regard for reality.

Thankfully he furnished some advice: Turn to our in-house hipster, photographer/avid road biker/cappuccino snob/fancy sneaker fiend/Instagram-your-dinner-news bureau Nic Coury, writing, “Your shame and incompetence is shared with your contributors. Ask Nic to help you all out.”

Happy Girl Kitchen co-founder and co-owner Todd Champagne took a slightly more journalistic approach with his responses—Newsflash!—without sacrificing any zing.

“Newsflash!” went his first note. “Happy Girl Kitchen has for years offered kombucha on tap, in bottles, and sells scobys along with fermentation books and teaches 'Ferment Fever' Workshops at our community kitchen. Whole Foods, really?”

Number two: “Newsflash! Happy Girl Kitchen makes kimchee by the barrel along with sauerkraut and sells kimchi juice shots! We also sell fermentation crocs, books on fermentation, and teach workshops on how to DIY. Trader Joe's? Really?”

Number three: Newsflash! 'Central Coast Juicery' has been cold pressing organically at Happy Girl Kitchen for a month! Selling 9+ varieties in glass bottles. All from local veggies from our fav farms.” Now only if they had some specific pointers to hipsterfy Squid specifically. Squid will start by just being more like Coury.