Ocean’s 8

There’s a reason the George Clooney/Brad Pitt Ocean’s 11 trilogy felt played out by the end: It’s hard to come up with original ideas for heist movies. Yet here we are with a Sandra Bullock/Cate Blanchett spinoff, entitled Ocean’s 8, and it woefully fails to breathe new life into the franchise.

Bullock plays Debbie Ocean, the sister of Clooney’s unseen and now deceased (or is he?) Danny. Bullock is fresh out of prison, and we learn that she spent her five years in the slammer plotting a heist. To pull it off, she needs a team. Enter long-time friend Lou (Blanchett), computer hacker Nine Ball (Rihanna), jewelry expert Amita (Mindy Kaling), fashion designer Rose (Helena Bonham Carter), pickpocket Constance (Awkwafina), and Debbie’s old accomplice Tammy (Sarah Paulson). (Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Banks were also approached for roles in this movie, but were unable to commit.)

You’ll notice there are only seven women listed here. No, I didn’t forget anyone. The eighth person becomes predictable as the movie plays, but nonetheless should not be revealed in a review.

Their plan: Convince actress Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway) to hire Rose to design her dress for the upcoming Met Gala in New York City. Then, convince Cartier to allow Kluger to wear a necklace valued at $150 million. Then, steal the necklace, and have a good enough cover story to get away with it. Sounds fun, right?

The issues are in the editing and Gary Ross’ directing. The film needs more style, visual flourishes, and a quicker pace – and clarity. Early on, there’s not enough the audience learns about each lady’s role, which leads to narrative blurriness when we should be getting hooked into the story.

Obviously not everything will be disclosed (we want clever twists in the finale, after all), but we need more in terms of each woman’s function to keep the viewer engaged. For example, Paulson’s Tammy is a “fence.” What is a “fence,” you ask? I’ve seen the movie and still have no idea. Why not include us in the fun?! You can’t keep the viewer at this far a distance when you want him/her to be smiling and playing along.

Rihanna’s Nine Ball has two of the best scenes. One involves scanning the necklace, and the other prominently features wheaten terriers. These moments use technology and creativity, and show what this movie could’ve been if more of this type of ingenuity came through in a compelling way.

To its credit, the last third of the film, highlighted by James Corden as an insurance investigator, picks up some slack. But by then it’s too late, and the twists, while clever, aren’t quite worth the journey to get to them.

Here’s a measure for how lame Ocean’s 8 is: The car ride home from the movie theater for my wife and I was about a half-hour. At no point during the ride did we discuss the film. One would think that a movie about a major jewel heist, and all the deception and intricate planning it entails – all while starring a who’s who of Hollywood leading ladies – would lead to some discussion about what we just saw.

But no. Ocean’s 8 is the worst thing a movie can be: instantly forgettable.

Ocean’s 8 ( * * ) • Directed by Gary Ross • Starring Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Rihanna, Anne Hathaway • Rated PG-13 • 110 min. • At Century Cinemas Del Monte, Century Marina, Maya Cinemas, Northridge Cinemas