In a fun and philosophical book, Peter Melton talks to the game of golf and finds answers.

Golf began to cause Peter Melton a lot of frustration. That nagging thorn led to a book.

Conversations with Par: How A Frustrated Golfer Found Joy Through Golf is at times whimsical, autobiographical and fanciful, yet it is always thoughtful – intended to reunite people with the fun lost in the ambition to play well.

From childhood through his college years, the Monterey County resident golfed on a regular basis and became proficient. But life – career, family – tends to pull people away from the game. When he picked up clubs again, the effect was evident.

“I started to notice I wasn’t enjoying the game as much when I wasn’t scoring as well,” Melton recalls. An outlandish idea came to him: If the ball wasn’t landing where he wanted, could he play without the ball? “It was a wild experience. You start to realize there is more to the game than your score. But that’s how we’ve chosen to judge ourselves.”

In Conversations with Par, a golfer angered by a double bogey that costs him a game rages in his head: “What the hell is par, anyway?” To his surprise, Par responds, beginning a conversation that raises questions and plants ideas about golf and enjoyment.

Par plays the role of a guru, guiding the golfer toward enlightenment. Melton draws from his own experimental effort, with Par suggesting he practice without a ball. “That would interfere with the visualization,” Par explains. “Hitting balls is a ‘doing’ exercise. This is a ‘being’ exercise.” And so the path continues.

Melton watched his mother go through the same transition from fun to frustration. One day she asked, “How do you play without getting upset?” “I don’t know,” was his answer. She urged him to seek a solution.

“‘What if I were more connected to golf?’” he recalls thinking. “The idea to talk to golf came to me.” As the book percolated in Melton’s head, he began to realize his focus on scores obscured joys such as friends gathering around the game, the walk through beautiful spaces, even the beers following a round. “It became self-reflection – ‘why are we playing?’ We don’t ask that.”

Melton refers to the book as an effort at something playfully philosophical. “Golf is so much like life,” he observes. “We do the best we can, but the results vary.”

Conversations with Par is available online. An author talk and book signing takes place noon-2pm Friday, Feb. 13. Pilgrim’s Way Community Bookstore, Dolores between 5th and 6th, Carmel.