First Night Monterey: A true all ages affair.

First Night Monterey is the biggest sober and kid-friendly party in the county. That sounds like a contradiction, but it works – wonderfully – for the same reason that movies like Shrek and The Lego Movie work: It appeals to adults and kids at the same time, often on different levels.

Here is a list of First Night activities, and how they might be regarded, simultaneously, by both demographics.

Free park and ride shuttle buses from Del Monte Center to downtown Monterey (every 15 minutes from 3pm-1am).

Adults: Will feel relaxed, having been relieved of parking downtown today.

Kids: Will think it’s an amusement ride where you don’t have to buckle up and sometimes people fall asleep.

Opening ceremonies at Colton Hall lawn, including taiko drumming, bubble stomp, hat making, chalk art (3-5pm).

Adults: Can summon their energy and get centered for the chaos to come.

Kids: Will commence the chaos.

Facepainting on Colton Hall lawn (3:30-5:30pm) and Monterey Antique and Gift Center (7-10pm).

Adults: Balk at the really long lines.

Kids: Can summon the patience of a monk when it comes to face paint.

Merchandise at four locations (3-11pm)

Adults: Will furiously do comparative math in their head, measuring cost versus how quickly a trinket will be forgotten.

Kids: Will cherish light-up knick-knacks forever or for two days – whichever comes first.

Food and drink vendors on Alvarado Street (5-11pm).

Adults: Will vacillate way too long between ending the year right by getting the chickpea korma or going out on indulgence with a cheeseburger and fries.

Kids: Will get the cheeseburger and fries without pause and eat with a gusto that makes adults mourn a little inside.

Poetry slam with Garland Thompson Jr. at MIIS Sansome Center (7pm, 8:15pm, 9:15pm).

Adults: “Ooh. I haven’t heard slam poetry since my socialist college roommate turned me on to Def Poetry Jam.”

Kids: “What does fascist mean?”

Rappers MC Lars and Ash Wednesday at MIIS Casa Fuente (9pm, 9:45pm, 10:30pm).

Adults: “MC Lars rhymed ‘Watch the Milky Way collapse like a Carl Sagan nightmare/ Stephen Hawking’s texting me I’m floating like Buzz Lightyear.’ This is awesome!”

Kids: “I don’t know what they’re saying, but this is awesome!”

Calpulli Yaocuauhtli cultural Aztec dance troupe from Salinas, at Colton Lawn (3:30pm, 4:15pm).

Adults: “What rich culture, what pageantry, what history, what costumes.”

Kids: “Aren’t they cold?”

Just Dance! video game on Alvarado Street (6:45-9:30pm).

Adults: Get indignant as songs by Taylor Swift and The Weekend attract kids like ants to a picnic, and think, “Really, First Night? Video games?” Then a Marvin Gaye song will come on and they’ll smile and sway to the beat.

Kids: “First Night just got cooler.”

CSUMB Creates: Visual and Public Art activities (6:30-9:30pm), Cinematic Arts animated short films (every 45 minutes, 6:30-10pm), Music and Performing Arts shows (6:15-10pm), at MIIS McGowan.

Adults: “Good to see my alma mater partnering on stuff in the community.”

Kids: “Are these big kids or adults?”

Dance performances by Monterey Dance, SpectorDance, DiFranco Dance, Monsori and belly dancers at the Masonic Lodge (3:30-10:30pm).

Adults: After looking around for arcane symbols and evidence of secret rituals, will think of the “Stonecutters Song” from The Simpsons (“Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do! We do!”).

Kids: Will watch the dance moves rapturously, then practice at home, to everyone’s entertainment.

The BlueNotables a capella vocal jazz octet at City Council chambers (8:30pm, 9:15pm, 10pm).

Adults: “I miss Manhattan Transfer.”

Kids: “When are they going to do ‘Let it Go’ already?”

Displays of “peace posts” from area schools at Monterey Antique and Gift Center (3:15-10pm).

Adults: Will reflect on the gravity of concerns by local students, including police abuse, violence, suicide, conflict, compassion and the environment.

Kids: Don’t understand why these wooden posts with inscriptions written on them are not actually Facebook posts.

Four grand finale closing shows including Samba Cruz Trio at the Church of Religious Science, Blues at Eleven at Golden State Theatre, Coffis Brothers and the Mountainmen at Rabobank on Alvarado, Samba Legal at Wells Fargo on Alvarado (11pm to midnight).

Adults: Thinking back on the year – the highs and the lows, the mistakes and the victories – will feel a bittersweet blend of wistfulness or gratitude, and dance and sing with the zeal of one who gets yet another chance to live a life they love.

Kids: Zzzzzzz…

FIRST NIGHT MONTEREY happens 3pm-12am at various locations throughout downtown Monterey. Adult buttons: $20/advance, $22/day of; youth buttons: $12/advance, $15/day of. www.FirstNightMonterey.org