MMJ: DYI

Let’s say a guy with a green card wanted to grow a plant or two in his backyard in San Francisco. What advice would you give the newbie grower? -D. Dee.

The default in California is six mature plants and 12 non-mature plants. “Mature” plant means one that is flowering. Some cities allow more; if you live in Oakland, you could grow up to 99 plants in your small backyard. San Francisco allows up to 24 plants before you start running into problems. Monterey County uses the state default number, and Sacramento has all sorts of arcane rules and regulations.

First of all, it’s way too late to put out a plant right now. Harvest season is upon us. Folks in the hills are just starting to cut and cure all manner of ripe and juicy buds. I take that back: You could put a small indica plant outside right now and maybe harvest a few buds in about eight weeks. It won’t be a big fat monster specimen, but you could get some nice nugs. Consider it a practice run for next year.

Make sure your neighbors are cool. Ideally, your landlord should be cool as well. Don’t get kicked out of your expensive SF apartment because of a hobby grow. Grab a few clones from your local dispensary (clones are easier than seeds). I recommend Blue Dream. It’s an easy-to-grow hybrid. If you have ever had a houseplant or grown some tomatoes, you can grow a sweet little head stash. Most people put their plants in the dirt sometime in May, although you can wait until June if you don’t want them to get too big. Have fun, and invite me over when your crop is ready. I love good homegrown.

How do I make hash? I am going to have a huge harvest. -Buddy Biggs

The easiest way is to use Bubble Bags. You can buy them online (www.bubblebag.com) or make them if you are crafty like that. Freeze your leaves, put them in the bags, add some ice and water, stir forever. No, really stir it. Stir it some more, then strain the water. Scrape the little THC crystals from the bags onto a paper bag, and let your kief dry. After it has dried, squish the kief together using gentle heat. (Old-school method: Put a tightly wrapped bit of kief in your shoe and walk around all day.) And now you have hash.

P.S. Making butane hash in California is illegal. Coldwater hash tastes better, anyway.